Like a Boss

Right off the bat, let me mention that I found B's stash of porn DVDs. Not what I expected to find, and really not sure yet how to proceed. For now, waiting to see how he reacts when he notices they are missing.

Second, I (re)discovered that minimum wage customer service employees do not usually get their jobs because of their customer service skills, but because of their minimum wage abilities. Long story short, the roof guy had left some sample boards at his MIL's place of work because it was a convenient place for both of us. When I asked about them, it took several tries between two employees and myself to sort out that I did not expect them to unlock the pharmacy and give me drug samples for shingles, but that I was there to pick up some samples of shingles I was considering for my roof. Why they were locked in the pharmacy is mystery number one. Why employee number one thought employee number two was any smarter is mystery number two. Why they put a guy who keeps repeating that he suffers from short term memory loss on the cash register is mystery number three. If I will EVER get the roof redone is mystery number four, but that is a separate issue.

Third, trying to figure out why now, after a very long time, I cannot get someone off my mind. I didn't dream about him, but I did have a series of crazy dreams that kept waking me up, and when I did wake up to stay, there he was again. It's not a bad thing, thinking about him, just trying to sort out why now. I did a mental check of "triggers", but I could not care less about March Madness, I can't remember the last time I had a drink, and I am not feeling particularly vulnerable or melancholy.

In fact, while I am not exactly iron-clad, I am kind of rockin' it. I am getting more done around the house since I got put in charge. My new job is turning out to be pretty great.  I also have two contracts now for freelance work. It looks like spring might be on its way to stay. Other than the young son with the beginnings of an adult-sized porn collection, I am doing ok as a de facto single parent.

On a sad note, L seems to think the DVDs might have been John's. Can't return them to a person who no longer exists. Likewise with Jodie. What a strange winter, to have two peers almost my exact age pass away. We'll save the list of things that really suck for another day.

#selectivecaring #likeaboss @pollyanna

Holiday Letter, a little bit late

Just realized how long it has been since I posted anything. I think I didn't think anything worth writing about was happening, but looking back all sorts of stuff has happened since I last wrote. Therefore, in Christmas card, form letter fashion, here is the run down:

Family - B had a really awful 1st semester. Second semester is off to a better start, although he has quit playing the saxophone, messed up his chances for off-season football, and could definitely have better grades. On the plus side, he is actually going to school instead of cutting, his attitude is much improved, and he seems excited about all of the getting ready for high school business. He is taking his course selection very seriously and is looking forward to some more challenging electives. We are still tracking him via his phone, which is sad and funny and unfortunately necessary.

The twins are the same as ever - hilarious and smart and adorable. D is signed up for baseball and can't wait to be old enough to play something besides t-ball. L has settled for soccer again because the dance class she took before is no longer available. Their grades are awesome and they growing too fast.

L is still driving a truck. I could write a whole post on how I feel about him only being here some of the time, and then not always fully present, but I will save it for later.

My parents came in October. We did Christmas Day here because it has been awhile since we did that. Then we went to OK for a couple of days and came back to K's house for an immediate family thing.

Her kids are both walking disasters. My nephew is in and out of jail and quite possibly has an HIV-related illness. My niece is on the upswing right now, which probably means her next fall will be any day now. They are both past anything we can offer them in the way of help. I pray a lot that my kids never become addicts.

Work - the new job is different, to say the least. One of my coworkers is resistant to any change, which means my assignment to come in and do just that is going very slowly. The other one just started and I don't really know her. But I am only there part time, the pay is decent, and I get to do whatever I want, so OK that my only complaint is that I can't always do it right this minute.

I also have one contract with ACH to plan an event for them, and a proposal pending to do another with a related group. I am excited about these not because the are very lucrative, but because they keep me in touch with many people I used to work with, and help me add to my resume for freelance work.

House - we are waiting for a bid on the relocating the furnace, and then we are ready to get a new roof put on the house. This is long, long overdue. If we don't blow our whole savings on these two projects, I have one other biggie, and then it will be warm weather and time to get serious about a lot of the things I can do by myself. Very excited, but trying to stay real, because my experience has been that every time things get going too well, we are promptly brought back to reality in a big way.

All that to say that while things are going really well in general, I am cynical enough to be looking around the corner for the next bit o' pain or drama. Really can't complain though.

Speaking of woe, I saw this quote the other day. I laughed, but immediately quit, because while funny, it was also sad and completely unnecessary.

"My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari."

Yeah, I didn't get one of those for Christmas either. But really, I'm not complaining. At least I didn't blow the Super Bowl.

All in a Day's Work

I am ready for this week to be over, and it's only (barely) Wednesday. The big conference I do each year for my job is next week. That makes this week one of the most busy and usually most stressful . Some of the headaches are to be anticipated, and while I gripe about them, they can be taken in stride- last minute requests, last minute changes, etc. Some can be expected, but I don't have to like them, like hold ups waiting on other people to get their stuff together. This year, I am more than a little annoyed with my co-coordinator, who has left some pretty big things to the last minute, meaning that where we should be confirming details with the facility, the caterer and the trade show vendor, we are still trying to iron out a work plan. I am not happy about this, and the fact that I know it needs resolved, and there is nothing we can do until later today, when I was already going to be crazy busy, is keeping me awake. The other headache is caused by one of our out of town speakers, whose travel schedule is weird, to say the least. To make it more complicated, we contracted her through a speakers bureau. What this means is that rather than just being able to call her and work out details, I have to work through a representative. This means everything takes three times longer to resolve. For example, we got an official response to a question yesterday that we had already dismissed and moved on from due to lack of reply. Fortunately, the reply confirmed what we had already decided to do, or I might be lying awake wondering how to fix that too. Today is our work day, where we prep the packets and organize delivery of materials. That itself is not stressful, provided the printer has done everything correctly. It's just that I had set aside this morning to get ready for that, and now it looks like I will be spending my morning troubleshooting 99 other things instead.

And, because the rest of my life does not stop just because work is busy, I still have to get through this week on the home front. It's not any busier than most weeks, but trying to fit it all in while also getting ready to be out of town for three days is not simple. Monday we went to visit my father in law, who had to stay overnight in the hospital after a surgical procedure. Last night and tomorrow night we have soccer practice. Tonight we are going to a church activity and to see my in-laws again. Saturday, we have early soccer and will take the kids to stay at grandparents' house while I am gone. Sometime in between all that I need to pick up snacks for soccer, do laundry and pack suitcases, and oh yeah, prepare a lesson for Sunday. All while trying to keep work at work, be the best mom I can be for kids with homework, meals, time and attention, etc., and trying to maintain my sanity around B.

Remember him? He's 13 and driving me absolutely nuts. I know that what he most needs right now is consistency and patience and time and positive attention and all that parenting mumbo jumbo, but he makes it so difficult to even want to be around him that I know I am being a terrible parent right now. Of course I love him, but sometimes I have to try very hard to make it sound more sincere than sarcastic when I say it. Right now I am just hoping that he will behave himself while I am gone, because his grandparents are doing me a huge favor by watching them while I am gone, and they do not need his attitude to deal with right now.

On a side note, I have received several compliments about my lessons on Sunday. This is nice to hear, partly because it's nice to hear :) and partly because I was worried that I would not be a good teacher of adults, not having done that in awhile. I won't go so far as to say that I am having fun yet, but it's nice to know that others are getting something from it. I think I will too, in time.

And in the background of all this, I am still planning to leave my job for another opportunity. My official end date is the 27th, but I will come back a few times to wrap up the conference as necessary. I am very much looking forward to the new job, but still trying to do right by my current one. Truthfully, my boss is just grateful that I agreed to stick around until after the event, but I am not content to just get through it. It has been my baby for so long, and something I am known for and proud of. I don't have to go out with a bang, but it will bother me if I don't execute the best event possible.

So I will wear myself out this week, just to make those three days look like a perfect piece of cake.