Went to the dentist today. The best thing about the dentist's office is that not one, but two people tell me that I have a really small mouth. Only place I ever hear this. Husband says I should reconsider getting dental care from people who are obviously delusional :)
Also, ran into Tom K. Can't remember the last time I saw him. He looks the same, only older. Only chatted for a few minutes, but I really should make the effort to keep in touch. He is always up to something interesting.
And I got a new hat. Whoo hoo. It's very cool. The pics were not.
March 31, 2010
Backroads and Honeysuckle
Signs of spring so far:
the return of the birds
allergies
Frostee Treats (I can hear them, but have yet to see them on our street)
Get Yur Crawdad signs
strawberry shortcake at the Bulldog
and of course, blooming things (except for those poor naked crepe myrtle trees).
Everywhere, things are blooming. I saw honeysuckle the other day and remembered how much I used to love the smell of honeysuckle. We used to have a whole section of our back fence covered in it, but my husband took it out because it was ruining the fence. (He also cut down the forsythia bush and mowed over the tulips, but I'm not bitter.)
Honeysuckle is not one of those smells I would want for shampoo, or perfume if I still wore it, as it is wa-ay too sweet. I remember it was best enjoyed on a day when I took the backroads - windows down, because it was not too hot yet, road trip music on the stereo. I would smell it before I saw it, growing thick and wild along the fence rows. Then just as I'd think "mmm, honeysuckle", the wind would shift, I'd round the curve, and it was gone.
I still take those roads, and still play those songs, and the smell is still gone.
the return of the birds
allergies
Frostee Treats (I can hear them, but have yet to see them on our street)
Get Yur Crawdad signs
strawberry shortcake at the Bulldog
and of course, blooming things (except for those poor naked crepe myrtle trees).
Everywhere, things are blooming. I saw honeysuckle the other day and remembered how much I used to love the smell of honeysuckle. We used to have a whole section of our back fence covered in it, but my husband took it out because it was ruining the fence. (He also cut down the forsythia bush and mowed over the tulips, but I'm not bitter.)
Honeysuckle is not one of those smells I would want for shampoo, or perfume if I still wore it, as it is wa-ay too sweet. I remember it was best enjoyed on a day when I took the backroads - windows down, because it was not too hot yet, road trip music on the stereo. I would smell it before I saw it, growing thick and wild along the fence rows. Then just as I'd think "mmm, honeysuckle", the wind would shift, I'd round the curve, and it was gone.
I still take those roads, and still play those songs, and the smell is still gone.
March 30, 2010
Serious Shoes for Serious Sandwiches
Today I went to Jimmy's to get a sandwich. On the way I was thinking that I should have called ahead because it always take so long. I get there, order and sit down. A few minutes later another lady comes in. She had already phoned in her order, but it wasn't ready, so I made a place for her to sit down too. Another few minutes later I made the comment to her that calling ahead didn't seem to have helped, as she had been waiting a while too. More people came in, ordered and waited.
Then along comes another lady. She had very blond hair, very high heels and what my husband refers to as too much self-esteem. At first I thought she was younger than I am, but a closer look put her at least around my age. She had apparently phoned her order in too, and it was ready in just a few minutes.
As shewalked pranced back out the door, the other lady commented that she should have called ahead sooner. I commented that maybe we just hadn't worn the right shoes. She looked down at my black loafers and her sensible black shoes, then over at the high-heeled purple sandals with the cascade of flowers and just fell out laughing.
Then along comes another lady. She had very blond hair, very high heels and what my husband refers to as too much self-esteem. At first I thought she was younger than I am, but a closer look put her at least around my age. She had apparently phoned her order in too, and it was ready in just a few minutes.
As she
March 29, 2010
Horoscope
Today's horoscope said, among other things, that words could get me in trouble. I was advised to watch my words carefully, lest they be misconstrued. This is good advice for me on most days, but as good of a reason as any not to post today.
March 27, 2010
Poem
I could write a poem
if I wanted
But who wants to write that way-
All tense and tight
Too much emphasis on precision and meaning
When what I feel is a whirlwind a jumble a mess
No good words to describe this mood
Made up of a hundred different moods
I don't want to feel this way-
All tense and tight
With too much hanging on the words I use
I will write a poem
And hope that tomorrow I don't feel this way
if I wanted
But who wants to write that way-
All tense and tight
Too much emphasis on precision and meaning
When what I feel is a whirlwind a jumble a mess
No good words to describe this mood
Made up of a hundred different moods
I don't want to feel this way-
All tense and tight
With too much hanging on the words I use
I will write a poem
And hope that tomorrow I don't feel this way
Remembering Smell
A sense of smell is often underappreciated, but very important. It enhances our sense of taste, warns us of possible danger, and plays a role our physical and mental health. Smells can affect our mood or evoke a memory of a person, place or thing. The inability to smell has several side effects, one of which is an increase in the occurrence of depression brought on by frustration, alienation, the inability to empathize and the inability to call upon comforting memories
I used to have a sense of smell. I have always been prone to moodiness and melancholoy, so I am not sure I can blame being a whiny baby on the loss of smell. And I haven't lost my memory of smell, or of being able to smell. It's just that the process works a little differently now, kind of in reverse.
Most people, when they smell say, vanilla, think of baking. For me, I can bake all day long and never smell the scent of vanilla. I can see a picture of vanilla in a magazine, and turn the page without a second thought. But ask me if I remember what vanilla smells like. Immediately, a picture of a vanilla bottle pops into my head. Depending on the situation, and the smell I am asked to recall, that image may become something else. Vanilla becomes cookie dough, followed by memories of learning to make chocolate chip cookies as a child. So sure, I remember what vanilla smells like, as long as I can call up a memory of having seen or used vanilla.
I have been told that since my sense of smell did not return within a few months of losing it, it will probably never return. That thought does make me a little sad, but I have accepted it an learned to live with it. Not having a sense of smell has some benefits, such as not being able to smell unpleasant smells :) But even unpleasant smells can be associated with things worth remembering.
Sometimes those memories are more vivid than others. So from time to time, when something triggers a memory that includes the memory of a smell, I will try to write about it here.
I used to have a sense of smell. I have always been prone to moodiness and melancholoy, so I am not sure I can blame being a whiny baby on the loss of smell. And I haven't lost my memory of smell, or of being able to smell. It's just that the process works a little differently now, kind of in reverse.
Most people, when they smell say, vanilla, think of baking. For me, I can bake all day long and never smell the scent of vanilla. I can see a picture of vanilla in a magazine, and turn the page without a second thought. But ask me if I remember what vanilla smells like. Immediately, a picture of a vanilla bottle pops into my head. Depending on the situation, and the smell I am asked to recall, that image may become something else. Vanilla becomes cookie dough, followed by memories of learning to make chocolate chip cookies as a child. So sure, I remember what vanilla smells like, as long as I can call up a memory of having seen or used vanilla.
I have been told that since my sense of smell did not return within a few months of losing it, it will probably never return. That thought does make me a little sad, but I have accepted it an learned to live with it. Not having a sense of smell has some benefits, such as not being able to smell unpleasant smells :) But even unpleasant smells can be associated with things worth remembering.
Sometimes those memories are more vivid than others. So from time to time, when something triggers a memory that includes the memory of a smell, I will try to write about it here.
March 25, 2010
To the girl in the white Grand Cherokee
To the girl in the white Grand Cherokee:
My first suggestion, if you do not know how a four-way stop works, is to stay off of the street. My second suggestion, for the obvious solution, would be to learn how it works.
For future reference, the first vehicle to approach the four-way stop has the right of way, aka the right to go first. If two vehicles arrive at the exact same time, the car on the right has the ROW. If two vehicles arrive at the exact same time, facing each other, both can go. If one is turning, the car going straight has the ROW.
If it is "rush hour" in a small town, it is possible that vehicles will approach from all directions, some going straight, some planning to turn. In this case, drivers tend to alternate turns: eastbound/westbound drivers going straight or turning right, followed by eastbound/westbound drivers turning left; repeat for northbound/southbound drivers; continue alternating as described until said "rush" is over.
A good rule of thumb: if it seems like everyone besides you is getting a turn, you may have missed your turn. You can either figure out when it is your turn and go, or you can continue to sit there like an idiot until the drivers of the other cars let you know that it is your turn. In this case, my third suggestion would be to not be surprised or upset if the advice was less than patient or polite. If you are offended by this advice, then my fourth suggestion would be to go back to the original suggestion and stay the hell off the street.
Your Helpful Friend
My first suggestion, if you do not know how a four-way stop works, is to stay off of the street. My second suggestion, for the obvious solution, would be to learn how it works.
For future reference, the first vehicle to approach the four-way stop has the right of way, aka the right to go first. If two vehicles arrive at the exact same time, the car on the right has the ROW. If two vehicles arrive at the exact same time, facing each other, both can go. If one is turning, the car going straight has the ROW.
If it is "rush hour" in a small town, it is possible that vehicles will approach from all directions, some going straight, some planning to turn. In this case, drivers tend to alternate turns: eastbound/westbound drivers going straight or turning right, followed by eastbound/westbound drivers turning left; repeat for northbound/southbound drivers; continue alternating as described until said "rush" is over.
A good rule of thumb: if it seems like everyone besides you is getting a turn, you may have missed your turn. You can either figure out when it is your turn and go, or you can continue to sit there like an idiot until the drivers of the other cars let you know that it is your turn. In this case, my third suggestion would be to not be surprised or upset if the advice was less than patient or polite. If you are offended by this advice, then my fourth suggestion would be to go back to the original suggestion and stay the hell off the street.
Your Helpful Friend
Apparently, prairie dogs speak Spanish
The zoo was great. The twins were so good, staying with us, not having fits when they got tired, and just really enjoying everything. I had a good time, but spent so much time trying to keep an eye on four kids and look at the animals that I didn't take many pictures. Was probably good we went, as today is not as warm and possibly rainy.
B went back to his grandparents' house after all. I had thought he might be ready to stay home for a bit, and was prepared to take the day off again to do something with just the two of us. Some of it I will still do, but I probably won't go the see Diary of a Wimpy Kid after all!
I had a dream last night where I was working in a restaurant. I have not had a dream like that since...well, since I last worked in a restaurant. They used to mean that I was working too much and needed a day off. Not sure what this one meant, if anything, except it felt nice to tell the boss what was what and still have a job :)
And I think I have FB Hangover again. I have hidden all of the stupid games. I have hidden all of the people who use the status bar to evangelize. I have learned to skip past the people with whom I disagree on politics. I have become pretty skillful at avoiding my mom went I don't feel like chatting. Turns out I am probably better off just sending email to the handful of people I would keep in touch with even if FB disappeared tomorrow.
I did notice in the birthday reminders that three people I know are having birthdays today or tomorrow. Interesting thing about that is that all three of them would consider themselves outgoing, while I consider all three of them high-maintenance or just obnoxious. Hmm, must look up what zodiac sign they are.
B went back to his grandparents' house after all. I had thought he might be ready to stay home for a bit, and was prepared to take the day off again to do something with just the two of us. Some of it I will still do, but I probably won't go the see Diary of a Wimpy Kid after all!
I had a dream last night where I was working in a restaurant. I have not had a dream like that since...well, since I last worked in a restaurant. They used to mean that I was working too much and needed a day off. Not sure what this one meant, if anything, except it felt nice to tell the boss what was what and still have a job :)
And I think I have FB Hangover again. I have hidden all of the stupid games. I have hidden all of the people who use the status bar to evangelize. I have learned to skip past the people with whom I disagree on politics. I have become pretty skillful at avoiding my mom went I don't feel like chatting. Turns out I am probably better off just sending email to the handful of people I would keep in touch with even if FB disappeared tomorrow.
I did notice in the birthday reminders that three people I know are having birthdays today or tomorrow. Interesting thing about that is that all three of them would consider themselves outgoing, while I consider all three of them high-maintenance or just obnoxious. Hmm, must look up what zodiac sign they are.
March 23, 2010
Caffeine Dreams
I am not missing the caffeine as much as I am really sick of water. How can something that supposedly has NO taste also be an acquired taste? I have been sleeping better. In fact, it is all I can do to stay awake past 9:00! Better sleep and less caffeine probably also explain why I have fewer headaches. On the downside, I also have fewer dreams (that I can recall). I still have random thoughts, although they are more mundane. Will I still feel the need to post them as part of the nighttime routine? Will I be able to stay awake long enough?
(Mundane) Random Thoughts:
I have see one dove, two different times. I may just be missing the second one, but I have not heard them either, which is not good.
I do hear unhappy sounds. The neighbors have three puppies. The whole clan, including the mother, is mean to the smallest one. They roll him around and take turns nipping at him until he cries. When I open the door, they stop, and the little one runs away. I would offer to take him, if we didn't already have two pets. Oh yeah, and if the whole litter was not inbred.
Tomorrow, my rendition of a famous speech, and taking the kids to the zoo.
(Mundane) Random Thoughts:
I have see one dove, two different times. I may just be missing the second one, but I have not heard them either, which is not good.
I do hear unhappy sounds. The neighbors have three puppies. The whole clan, including the mother, is mean to the smallest one. They roll him around and take turns nipping at him until he cries. When I open the door, they stop, and the little one runs away. I would offer to take him, if we didn't already have two pets. Oh yeah, and if the whole litter was not inbred.
Tomorrow, my rendition of a famous speech, and taking the kids to the zoo.
March 18, 2010
Random Thoughts
I saw one dove this morning. I looked for the second one, but since I was dragging the trash cans to the street, with two toddler helpers, birds of all sorts scattered. I will know to check again in the next few days though.
Volcano project finished and delivered to school on time!
Got sidetracked watching a basketball game while I ate lunch today, and ended up caught up in March Madness the rest of the afternoon.
The golf cart in the driveway is growing on me, even if only as a diversion for the kids.
Still cracking up at the person advertising the used pinata.
Sick of water and it's only Day Two of the effort to become caffeine free.
Volcano project finished and delivered to school on time!
Got sidetracked watching a basketball game while I ate lunch today, and ended up caught up in March Madness the rest of the afternoon.
The golf cart in the driveway is growing on me, even if only as a diversion for the kids.
Still cracking up at the person advertising the used pinata.
Sick of water and it's only Day Two of the effort to become caffeine free.
March 17, 2010
Saints
B had first baseball practice last night, then came home and worked on his model volcano project. I screwed up and didn't take pics from the beginning, but it is going to be great.
Woke up today feeling mostly positive. What's not to like about St. Patrick's Day? And Day One of the attempt to lay off the caffeine is simple enough - start by adding more water. I can do that!
Then I learned of the results of Teresa's latest PET scan. I am not going to try to explain the diagnosis or the history so far, but suffice it to say that it SUCKS big time. I will say it because she never will. She has one of the most beautiful spirits of anyone I have ever known, and is handling this with such a good attitude. I am only a sometime-believer in prayer, but it's all I have to offer her today.
Woke up today feeling mostly positive. What's not to like about St. Patrick's Day? And Day One of the attempt to lay off the caffeine is simple enough - start by adding more water. I can do that!
Then I learned of the results of Teresa's latest PET scan. I am not going to try to explain the diagnosis or the history so far, but suffice it to say that it SUCKS big time. I will say it because she never will. She has one of the most beautiful spirits of anyone I have ever known, and is handling this with such a good attitude. I am only a sometime-believer in prayer, but it's all I have to offer her today.
March 16, 2010
Questions
How can I tell when "creative" is just a euphemism for "she makes up good stuff"?
If I organize my thoughts into semi-related groups and leave out the punctuation, can I call it poetry?
If I refer to flipping someone off as the Hawaiian good luck symbol, will the karma that comes back to me be any better?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
I hate when I end the day with more questions than answers!
If I organize my thoughts into semi-related groups and leave out the punctuation, can I call it poetry?
If I refer to flipping someone off as the Hawaiian good luck symbol, will the karma that comes back to me be any better?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
I hate when I end the day with more questions than answers!
March 12, 2010
The Geode
smooth and plain,
not much to see
unless you know the signs
look, and look again
past the surface of cool, gray stone-
an the inner core concealed
the patient man appraises the stone
and chooses the weakest spot
a line, a crack
any likely opening
to the unlikeliest of places
intuition says now is the time
here is the place
this is the way
to split the stone
to reveal what lies inside
will it be clean and bright, reflective of the the finder?
deeply flawed, a disappointment?
maybe just smudged around the edges
in need of a little refinement?
or will the stone be shattered
in the quest to reach the heart?
not much to see
unless you know the signs
look, and look again
past the surface of cool, gray stone-
an the inner core concealed
the patient man appraises the stone
and chooses the weakest spot
a line, a crack
any likely opening
to the unlikeliest of places
intuition says now is the time
here is the place
this is the way
to split the stone
to reveal what lies inside
will it be clean and bright, reflective of the the finder?
deeply flawed, a disappointment?
maybe just smudged around the edges
in need of a little refinement?
or will the stone be shattered
in the quest to reach the heart?
March 10, 2010
Dreams, Birds and Waffles
Yesterday I woke up 4:30 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. Went to bed last night so tired I couldn't think of anything except how annoyed I was.
Today I woke up to the sounds of thousands of birds in the trees across the street and a head full of random thoughts again.
Yesterday someone told me he had a dream about me. Interesting, not sure what to make of it yet. It reminded me that I haven't had a dream I can remember in awhile either. Usually I get fractured sleep, waking up to two-legged and four-legged family members coming and going, until it catches up and I have one of those nights where I sleep so soundly that nothing wakes me.
B is gone, hair as wild as ever. I sprayed it with water and finger-combed it to get it damp so he could "fix" it before he left. It was sticking out all over and I said "This actually looks kind of cool". He said, trying to be funny "Your cool is the new lame". Ha Ha. But he left for the bus with it looking pretty much like I had put it. He looked a lot like me in my Robert Smith phase, only with brown hair not black and no make-up.
He wants to wait until spring break to get a hair cut. I have been OK with this, because I thought he might want an actual style if he grew it out long enough. We have waited long enough that baseball season is here, so I suspect we will end up going with the classic southern summer cut, as always.
Stuff I can do today: look up who sings the song "Give a Little Bit", and see if I can learn about the different kinds of doves. The arrival of the birds made me realize I haven't seen our doves in a while. They come and go, sometimes so infrequently that I have almost forgotten about them. I probably won't be aware of them again until after the noisy birds have gone, because I usually notice their soft cooing first, followed by a glimpse of one, then a look around for the second to reassure myself that they are still a pair.
Must also look up the potential cause of a waffle shortage. I keep telling the kids the store is out of waffles. Pretty sure B at least thinks I have just forgotten them again. But sure enough, at the store last night, there was a little hand-written sign on the glass freezer door that simply said "Sorry, there is a waffle shortage". Who knew?
Oh, and must find a good picture of Elmo. More on that in another post. Likewise with the caffeine intake, but on a day when I am not counting on it to keep me going.
Today I woke up to the sounds of thousands of birds in the trees across the street and a head full of random thoughts again.
Yesterday someone told me he had a dream about me. Interesting, not sure what to make of it yet. It reminded me that I haven't had a dream I can remember in awhile either. Usually I get fractured sleep, waking up to two-legged and four-legged family members coming and going, until it catches up and I have one of those nights where I sleep so soundly that nothing wakes me.
B is gone, hair as wild as ever. I sprayed it with water and finger-combed it to get it damp so he could "fix" it before he left. It was sticking out all over and I said "This actually looks kind of cool". He said, trying to be funny "Your cool is the new lame". Ha Ha. But he left for the bus with it looking pretty much like I had put it. He looked a lot like me in my Robert Smith phase, only with brown hair not black and no make-up.
He wants to wait until spring break to get a hair cut. I have been OK with this, because I thought he might want an actual style if he grew it out long enough. We have waited long enough that baseball season is here, so I suspect we will end up going with the classic southern summer cut, as always.
Stuff I can do today: look up who sings the song "Give a Little Bit", and see if I can learn about the different kinds of doves. The arrival of the birds made me realize I haven't seen our doves in a while. They come and go, sometimes so infrequently that I have almost forgotten about them. I probably won't be aware of them again until after the noisy birds have gone, because I usually notice their soft cooing first, followed by a glimpse of one, then a look around for the second to reassure myself that they are still a pair.
Must also look up the potential cause of a waffle shortage. I keep telling the kids the store is out of waffles. Pretty sure B at least thinks I have just forgotten them again. But sure enough, at the store last night, there was a little hand-written sign on the glass freezer door that simply said "Sorry, there is a waffle shortage". Who knew?
Oh, and must find a good picture of Elmo. More on that in another post. Likewise with the caffeine intake, but on a day when I am not counting on it to keep me going.
March 4, 2010
F***
The word of the day is F***. As much trouble as that word can get a person in, it can't be worse than where other words have got me so far today. F***. That's all I've got.
March 3, 2010
Secrets and Shadows
Everyone has secrets
In the shadows of their life
Everyone has shadows
In their heart, and in their mind
Everyone has secrets
Some just barely hiding
Waiting for the right time
More of a surprise really
Everyone has secrets
Hidden in the corners
Knowing there’s no right time
They will not be welcome
So the shadows hide the secrets
Until the secrets become bold
They fill the mind, and choke the heart
Demanding to be told
But the secrets must be hidden
Until the time is right
For if they can’t be welcomed
Let them come as no surprise
In the shadows of their life
Everyone has shadows
In their heart, and in their mind
Everyone has secrets
Some just barely hiding
Waiting for the right time
More of a surprise really
Everyone has secrets
Hidden in the corners
Knowing there’s no right time
They will not be welcome
So the shadows hide the secrets
Until the secrets become bold
They fill the mind, and choke the heart
Demanding to be told
But the secrets must be hidden
Until the time is right
For if they can’t be welcomed
Let them come as no surprise
March 2, 2010
Wishful Thinking
I have been called clever more than once, but how I long to be considered wise.
And while I am indulging in wishful thinking, I also wish I was a bigger person. A friend received good news today, and instead of just being glad for her, I immediately began worrying about how it would affect me. As if her decision wasn't a good one, or had anything to do with me.
Truly wishful thinking would be for everyone to get what they want, and no one to get hurt or do without.
Realistically, I probably could work on being less selfish.
And while I am indulging in wishful thinking, I also wish I was a bigger person. A friend received good news today, and instead of just being glad for her, I immediately began worrying about how it would affect me. As if her decision wasn't a good one, or had anything to do with me.
Truly wishful thinking would be for everyone to get what they want, and no one to get hurt or do without.
Realistically, I probably could work on being less selfish.
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