Random things that have been on my mind this week, in no particular order:
1. Illegal Immigration
2. Rain (will it or won't it?)
3. Toad Suck Daze
4. Unemployment
5. Healthcare
6. Pineapple
7. The profound wisdom of requiring stupid people to wear a sign
8. Baseball
9. Primary Elections
10. Storage compartments
11. B. Tarno
12. Getting D. to stop biting
13. The idiocy of charging a fee to accept someone's money. The idiocy of the people who pay it.
14. Car repairs
15. Getting Pejo fixed
16. Web site design
17. WTH are the Bronco's going to do with Tim Tebow?
18. Puppies
19. Web cams
20. Family in CO
21. Europe
22. Sandals and pedicures
23. Random stupid things I have spent money on this week
24. BBQ Spare Ribs!!!
25. Mother's Day
26. Bureaucracy
27. Starting a business
28. Smart phones, especially how I don't have one but really want one
29. Building a bat house, bird house or doll house
30. Field day/Field trips
31. That one minute the other day when a little kid was impressed by something I did
32. The complete waste of time that Facebook has become
33. Finding time to go shopping for essentials
34. Library fines
35. Caffeine
36. Stupid drivers
37. Monkeys
38. Filing income taxes
39. Chinese food
40. Ice cream
41. Prom
42. Snow
43. Crazy # of people I know who are pregnant right now
April 30, 2010
April 25, 2010
Bad Things
Bad things happen to good people.
Other people say things meant to be comforting or positive, or maybe just wise. Religious things, like "God won't give you something you can't handle" or philosophical things, like "It's not what happens, but how you deal with it". Maybe something vague, like "It will all work out for the best", or trite, like "Let me know if there's anything I can do". Occasionally mom-like, as in "I told you this would happen". Nobody ever says "I've got your back. Let's go kick some ass", which is too bad.
I have a friend whose sister spent last night duct-taped to a chair in a closet, after her boyfriend beat the crap out of her and left her there. Wouldn't it be nice, if instead of saying "Oh, how awful, she'll be in my prayers", someone could say "Let's go find that boyfriend and beat the living crap out of him and leave him in a ditch somewhere."
The odds of actually forming a posse and delivering some justice are probably less than following through on all the good intentions we have when we hear of someone else's troubles, but tonight for some reason they seem more satisfying.
Not sure what I could do in the case of L's cousin. She is not responding well at all to treatments for a relatively treatable disease. She is much more positive than I would be in her place. While I admit that getting angry at a disease, or a situation, isn't always the most productive approach, her requests for prayers and support aren't working very well either.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Not sure whether to be mad, that bad things don't happen more often to bad people, or sad, that I can't do much about any of it besides offer up a cliche, maybe a prayer and a casserole.
Other people say things meant to be comforting or positive, or maybe just wise. Religious things, like "God won't give you something you can't handle" or philosophical things, like "It's not what happens, but how you deal with it". Maybe something vague, like "It will all work out for the best", or trite, like "Let me know if there's anything I can do". Occasionally mom-like, as in "I told you this would happen". Nobody ever says "I've got your back. Let's go kick some ass", which is too bad.
I have a friend whose sister spent last night duct-taped to a chair in a closet, after her boyfriend beat the crap out of her and left her there. Wouldn't it be nice, if instead of saying "Oh, how awful, she'll be in my prayers", someone could say "Let's go find that boyfriend and beat the living crap out of him and leave him in a ditch somewhere."
The odds of actually forming a posse and delivering some justice are probably less than following through on all the good intentions we have when we hear of someone else's troubles, but tonight for some reason they seem more satisfying.
Not sure what I could do in the case of L's cousin. She is not responding well at all to treatments for a relatively treatable disease. She is much more positive than I would be in her place. While I admit that getting angry at a disease, or a situation, isn't always the most productive approach, her requests for prayers and support aren't working very well either.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Not sure whether to be mad, that bad things don't happen more often to bad people, or sad, that I can't do much about any of it besides offer up a cliche, maybe a prayer and a casserole.
April 24, 2010
Am I Paranoid?
Writers' group was kind of lame today, but I had interesting side conversations with a couple of other people, so not a total waste of time.
Driving home from writers' group, I took the I-430 bridge across the river. Right as the road left dry land and became a bridge, I saw a little yellow blob on the shoulder. As I passed it, I saw that it was a hard hat. Might have just wondered at how it got there, except this is the same bridge where a few years ago three men were in a crane accident. They fell into the river and were missing for a long time before their bodies were recovered. My first thought was the hope something similar hadn't happened. I suppose I might also look up the details of the accident to see if I am remembering correctly.
Crossing the parking lot to get lunch, a car slowed and the driver motioned for me to pass. I am always self-conscious of crossing in traffic because I worry that I don't walk quickly enough since my knee surgeries. Paranoia is only heightened when I realize that the car I thought had stopped for me is slowly easing forward the entire time.
Driving home from writers' group, I took the I-430 bridge across the river. Right as the road left dry land and became a bridge, I saw a little yellow blob on the shoulder. As I passed it, I saw that it was a hard hat. Might have just wondered at how it got there, except this is the same bridge where a few years ago three men were in a crane accident. They fell into the river and were missing for a long time before their bodies were recovered. My first thought was the hope something similar hadn't happened. I suppose I might also look up the details of the accident to see if I am remembering correctly.
Crossing the parking lot to get lunch, a car slowed and the driver motioned for me to pass. I am always self-conscious of crossing in traffic because I worry that I don't walk quickly enough since my knee surgeries. Paranoia is only heightened when I realize that the car I thought had stopped for me is slowly easing forward the entire time.
April 21, 2010
Rollercoasters and Relationships
For about two months now, I have been engaged in what I privately refer to as a Facebook Flirtation. On an impulse I still haven't figured out, I looked up an old friend I hadn't seen since college, but had often thought about. Lo and behold he was on FB, he responded to my message, and things took off from there.
We talk every day. We have good conversations and bad conversations. We have inside jokes. I tell him things I don't tell anyone else. We talk about work and family and plans and coordinate schedules. When something important or funny or interesting happens, I remind myself to tell him about it the next time we talk.
We have a undefined "something more" that we acknowledge in a roundabout way.
It has been quite a rollercoaster ride. On the up side, we have reminisced about old times, caught up on the years since college, had some pretty deep conversations, and gotten to know each other all over again. On the down side, we have had some misunderstandings, intrusion from real life, and some back and forth about what it is we are doing exactly.
Each time the rollercoaster comes to a stop, we're a little dizzy and we don't immediately exit the ride. Instead, we try to make sense of everything. So I say we aren't doing anything wrong, and he says he's willing to hang in there. We laugh and sigh and say we don't know and before we do know the ride has taken off again.
This time the rollercoaster seems to be taking longer to get going again. It's not a bad thing to be thinking with my brain instead of with my heart in my stomach, it's just not as much fun, and it gives me more time to think. On the drive home today, it occurred to me that as much as we have debated what to call this thing, or not to call it, it suddenly feels to me like - deep breath - a relationship.
I am not sure what I hoped for when I first contacted him, but I didn't expect it to become a relationship. A relationship is bad and good, involves more feelings, takes time and effort, and...well, hell, a relationship is work. It's harder to tell if those things up ahead are highs or just big obnoxious bumps. I don't know if I am alone in thinking this has become more than a crazy rollercoaster ride. I do know it's easier to exit a rollercoaster ride than it is to exit a relationship, if that's what this is becoming.
We talk every day. We have good conversations and bad conversations. We have inside jokes. I tell him things I don't tell anyone else. We talk about work and family and plans and coordinate schedules. When something important or funny or interesting happens, I remind myself to tell him about it the next time we talk.
We have a undefined "something more" that we acknowledge in a roundabout way.
It has been quite a rollercoaster ride. On the up side, we have reminisced about old times, caught up on the years since college, had some pretty deep conversations, and gotten to know each other all over again. On the down side, we have had some misunderstandings, intrusion from real life, and some back and forth about what it is we are doing exactly.
Each time the rollercoaster comes to a stop, we're a little dizzy and we don't immediately exit the ride. Instead, we try to make sense of everything. So I say we aren't doing anything wrong, and he says he's willing to hang in there. We laugh and sigh and say we don't know and before we do know the ride has taken off again.
This time the rollercoaster seems to be taking longer to get going again. It's not a bad thing to be thinking with my brain instead of with my heart in my stomach, it's just not as much fun, and it gives me more time to think. On the drive home today, it occurred to me that as much as we have debated what to call this thing, or not to call it, it suddenly feels to me like - deep breath - a relationship.
I am not sure what I hoped for when I first contacted him, but I didn't expect it to become a relationship. A relationship is bad and good, involves more feelings, takes time and effort, and...well, hell, a relationship is work. It's harder to tell if those things up ahead are highs or just big obnoxious bumps. I don't know if I am alone in thinking this has become more than a crazy rollercoaster ride. I do know it's easier to exit a rollercoaster ride than it is to exit a relationship, if that's what this is becoming.
April 19, 2010
Monday Morning Thoughts
Random thoughts on this Monday morning:
Coyotes - I have no love lost for coyotes, but the image of the dead coyote on the road, his skull crushed and bloody, is still with me a day later.
Women - There's a really good reason I have just a few good female friends and just as many male friends. Are we all this big of a pain in the a$$?
Crop dusters - I have no need for a crop duster, but if I did, I would choose the second one I saw this morning. The first one I saw seemed to be doing a really good job of spraying 4 lanes of I-40, and not much else.
Love - I received an invitation to write the word "love" on my arm as a way to show some support to people who might not be feeling it. Not to detract from any effort to create a kinder, gentler world, but I can think of much better ways to show people I care about them than writing on my arms. Seriously?
Commute - Saw 2, count 'em 2, doves! Yay for the pair of them. Also saw the entire front edge of a lawn bordered by purple irises. Beautiful :-)
Caffeine - Have sort of stalled at 4 cups in the morning. Can't think of the last time I had a Coke. Very careful about drinking tea, and none late at night. Still having to remind myself to drink more water. Elaine W. reminds me periodically, which helps.
Deep thoughts - Yeah, I have those too, but I am still dancing around how to put them into words exactly.
Coyotes - I have no love lost for coyotes, but the image of the dead coyote on the road, his skull crushed and bloody, is still with me a day later.
Women - There's a really good reason I have just a few good female friends and just as many male friends. Are we all this big of a pain in the a$$?
Crop dusters - I have no need for a crop duster, but if I did, I would choose the second one I saw this morning. The first one I saw seemed to be doing a really good job of spraying 4 lanes of I-40, and not much else.
Love - I received an invitation to write the word "love" on my arm as a way to show some support to people who might not be feeling it. Not to detract from any effort to create a kinder, gentler world, but I can think of much better ways to show people I care about them than writing on my arms. Seriously?
Commute - Saw 2, count 'em 2, doves! Yay for the pair of them. Also saw the entire front edge of a lawn bordered by purple irises. Beautiful :-)
Caffeine - Have sort of stalled at 4 cups in the morning. Can't think of the last time I had a Coke. Very careful about drinking tea, and none late at night. Still having to remind myself to drink more water. Elaine W. reminds me periodically, which helps.
Deep thoughts - Yeah, I have those too, but I am still dancing around how to put them into words exactly.
April 17, 2010
Family Business
I am impulsive in many ways, too often leaping before I look, speaking before I think. The one area where I could be considered conservative is with money. I seldom make an impulse purchase, am good about setting and sticking to a budget, and like to have a solid savings plan in place.
Add to that our past record with owning a business. Yes, we still have the apartments, and most of the time they pay for themselves, but they are certainly not making any extra money for the effort we put into them.
So needless to say, I am freaking out more than a little about the prospect of L leaving his job and starting a new venture. He may not have much choice about the leaving part. He knows his job is on the line, but refuses to give them cause for letting him go, and is not going to walk away without a new plan in place, if possible.
He knows what sort of jobs he is qualified to do. He knows what sort of jobs he is interested in doing. He knows what jobs he is willing to consider, if necessary. Weed out the jobs that keep him away from home and family more than he likes, and the idea of going back into business for himself looks good.
We have done the homework on this business before and the potential is good. But factor in that daycare and healthcare currently come out of L's salary. Factor in that he won't actually be bringing home the equivalent of a salary for awhile. Factor in that we have a modest amount of savings meant for emergencies. Even a person less conservative than I am would have to take a look at the situation and give it very serious thought before jumping in.
For now the big stressor for L will be hanging on to a job he doesn't really want until the last possible minute, without getting fired first. The big stressor for me is preparing myself for being less financially secure than I like to be. If we proceed, I know that L will do everything he possibly can to make it a success, and I will do everything I can to support him.
Ask me in six months about my biggest source of stress. It will be one part our financial situation. It will be three parts whether or not L remembers that part of providing for his family includes more than just bringing home a salary.
Add to that our past record with owning a business. Yes, we still have the apartments, and most of the time they pay for themselves, but they are certainly not making any extra money for the effort we put into them.
So needless to say, I am freaking out more than a little about the prospect of L leaving his job and starting a new venture. He may not have much choice about the leaving part. He knows his job is on the line, but refuses to give them cause for letting him go, and is not going to walk away without a new plan in place, if possible.
He knows what sort of jobs he is qualified to do. He knows what sort of jobs he is interested in doing. He knows what jobs he is willing to consider, if necessary. Weed out the jobs that keep him away from home and family more than he likes, and the idea of going back into business for himself looks good.
We have done the homework on this business before and the potential is good. But factor in that daycare and healthcare currently come out of L's salary. Factor in that he won't actually be bringing home the equivalent of a salary for awhile. Factor in that we have a modest amount of savings meant for emergencies. Even a person less conservative than I am would have to take a look at the situation and give it very serious thought before jumping in.
For now the big stressor for L will be hanging on to a job he doesn't really want until the last possible minute, without getting fired first. The big stressor for me is preparing myself for being less financially secure than I like to be. If we proceed, I know that L will do everything he possibly can to make it a success, and I will do everything I can to support him.
Ask me in six months about my biggest source of stress. It will be one part our financial situation. It will be three parts whether or not L remembers that part of providing for his family includes more than just bringing home a salary.
Avocado, Day 89
The avocado seed has finally sprouted and is ready to plant.Notice the lovely "flowers" that were brought to me from the yard. I stuck them in the water so as not to hurt any feelings, and the stupid thing is doing quite well.
April 14, 2010
Drama in the 'Hood
Saturday:
Just the twins and I at home. They played outside. They played at the neighbors' house. The neigbors came to our house. I played outside with all of them. You get the idea - a typical Saturday at our house.
Sunday:
Gone most of the day. Arrive home to find neighbor kids plus two more. B and the twins all play outside until dinner. After dinner, I leave for awhile. When I return, L asks where I have put the rent money we have collected. I hadn't moved it. Honestly, I hadn't given it any thought. So we sit down and think through how much should be there and who had been in our house lately. We decide it must have been one of the neighbor kids, as the other two never came in the house except to follow me in to get a drink of water.
It's late, so L says he'll stop and talk to the neighbor mom (NM) on his way to work.
Monday:
I tell B that some money is missing. I ask him to listen on the bus to see if there is any reason I should question his friends or talk to their parents, such as someone bragging about finding money, going to buy something, etc.
Monday afternoon, I get a call from the NM. She is at the school. She has gotten there and confronted her son, who has taken the money to school and PASSED IT OUT!!! She has gotten him to name the kids with whom he shared the wealth. They have been confronted and have given the money back. She is calling to see how much money it was so she knows if she needs to twist a few more arms.
Monday evening, shortly after I arrive home, she shows up at my back door with an envelope, an apology, and "permission" to press charges. I call L to give him the scoop.
Monday night, L, NM and I sit to down to discuss next steps. She is perfectly OK with us pressing charges, even though L tells her that it will stay on her son's record until he is 18 and that there will be a fine, which the parents usually end up paying.
Tuesday:
We are trying to take into consideration who should be charged, if anyone - only the boy who took the money (and his parents by default)? The "receivers of stolen property", if the point is to teach them all a lesson? What to tell B, who has to ride the bus and go to school with these boys and would like to be able to consider them friends?
Wednesday:
Still debating whether or not to proceed with charges. If we do, an 11-year old boy gets his first visit from the police. This would be a valuable lesson, if learned. I say "if" because he took more than $1200, which was not laying in plain sight, had the stupidity to take it to school and tell people about it (all of whom agree it came from him), and still insists that he got it from another boy, who just happened to give him the largest share. Yeah, his parents are hoping we can use the law to teach him a lesson. In the interest of maintaining what's left of our friendship, I hesitate to tell them that I have my doubts this will be his last interaction with the po-po man.
Just the twins and I at home. They played outside. They played at the neighbors' house. The neigbors came to our house. I played outside with all of them. You get the idea - a typical Saturday at our house.
Sunday:
Gone most of the day. Arrive home to find neighbor kids plus two more. B and the twins all play outside until dinner. After dinner, I leave for awhile. When I return, L asks where I have put the rent money we have collected. I hadn't moved it. Honestly, I hadn't given it any thought. So we sit down and think through how much should be there and who had been in our house lately. We decide it must have been one of the neighbor kids, as the other two never came in the house except to follow me in to get a drink of water.
It's late, so L says he'll stop and talk to the neighbor mom (NM) on his way to work.
Monday:
I tell B that some money is missing. I ask him to listen on the bus to see if there is any reason I should question his friends or talk to their parents, such as someone bragging about finding money, going to buy something, etc.
Monday afternoon, I get a call from the NM. She is at the school. She has gotten there and confronted her son, who has taken the money to school and PASSED IT OUT!!! She has gotten him to name the kids with whom he shared the wealth. They have been confronted and have given the money back. She is calling to see how much money it was so she knows if she needs to twist a few more arms.
Monday evening, shortly after I arrive home, she shows up at my back door with an envelope, an apology, and "permission" to press charges. I call L to give him the scoop.
Monday night, L, NM and I sit to down to discuss next steps. She is perfectly OK with us pressing charges, even though L tells her that it will stay on her son's record until he is 18 and that there will be a fine, which the parents usually end up paying.
Tuesday:
We are trying to take into consideration who should be charged, if anyone - only the boy who took the money (and his parents by default)? The "receivers of stolen property", if the point is to teach them all a lesson? What to tell B, who has to ride the bus and go to school with these boys and would like to be able to consider them friends?
Wednesday:
Still debating whether or not to proceed with charges. If we do, an 11-year old boy gets his first visit from the police. This would be a valuable lesson, if learned. I say "if" because he took more than $1200, which was not laying in plain sight, had the stupidity to take it to school and tell people about it (all of whom agree it came from him), and still insists that he got it from another boy, who just happened to give him the largest share. Yeah, his parents are hoping we can use the law to teach him a lesson. In the interest of maintaining what's left of our friendship, I hesitate to tell them that I have my doubts this will be his last interaction with the po-po man.
April 11, 2010
Be Thankful, Keep Trying
A gazillion thoughts going through my head.
A dictionary search to find a word that comes close to describing my current situation.
A fierce need to write something, anything.
So for lack of the right words to write the post I want to write, I will distract myself by listing some of the things I am thankful for (aka reasons not to screw things up).
1. L - who helped me get out the door on time this morning, who cleaned up the kitchen after I left (including washing the dishes!), who greeted me at lunch with "I love you" and a hug.
2. B - who can be so mature when he tries. He spent his first night away from home for something other than a family thing. His Junior Bible Quiz team came in second in the State Finals, and in spite of being tired, he behaved himself very well today, was a huge help, and someone I enjoyed just hanging out with.
3. L - who is so sweet and so funny and so gorgeous, while being the perfect mix between girly-girl and tom-boy.
4. D - who is so stinkin' smart for his age, and will always be my baby even when he outgrows me.
5. Home - which is relatively quiet and peaceful, especially compared to yesterday.
6. Church - where I almost always leave feeling better than when I went.
7. A gorgeous day, not too hot, spent visiting with family and playing on the trampoline.
8. Distractions - just enough to keep from having too much time to think, but not so many that I am overwhelmed.
9. Good friends
10. A sense of contentment, if not with life in general, then at least with today, for right now.
A dictionary search to find a word that comes close to describing my current situation.
A fierce need to write something, anything.
So for lack of the right words to write the post I want to write, I will distract myself by listing some of the things I am thankful for (aka reasons not to screw things up).
1. L - who helped me get out the door on time this morning, who cleaned up the kitchen after I left (including washing the dishes!), who greeted me at lunch with "I love you" and a hug.
2. B - who can be so mature when he tries. He spent his first night away from home for something other than a family thing. His Junior Bible Quiz team came in second in the State Finals, and in spite of being tired, he behaved himself very well today, was a huge help, and someone I enjoyed just hanging out with.
3. L - who is so sweet and so funny and so gorgeous, while being the perfect mix between girly-girl and tom-boy.
4. D - who is so stinkin' smart for his age, and will always be my baby even when he outgrows me.
5. Home - which is relatively quiet and peaceful, especially compared to yesterday.
6. Church - where I almost always leave feeling better than when I went.
7. A gorgeous day, not too hot, spent visiting with family and playing on the trampoline.
8. Distractions - just enough to keep from having too much time to think, but not so many that I am overwhelmed.
9. Good friends
10. A sense of contentment, if not with life in general, then at least with today, for right now.
April 10, 2010
Creek Fishin'
I told someone yesterday that I had this weird urge to go fishing. It's weird because I can't remember the last time I went fishing, because I don't really like it that much. You have to be...quiet!
And when I do go fishing, I want it to be creek fishing, like we did when we were kids. We had 40 acres, with a creek running through it. We could go fishing anytime we wanted, which we only did when we were extremely bored, or unless my dad took us. But it was a fun way to kill an afternoon, and a good excuse for playing in the creek, which was cold even during the warmest part of summer.
The water was only knee deep in most places, but full of rocks and fast-moving. The fish liked to hide in the deeper pools under banks and behind rocks, so creek fishing was more like hunting - you had to know what to look for. You dropped your hook, baited with a worm, into the edge of the pool where the water moved a little more slowly. You let it drift past the pool, hoping for a bite. When the hook got past the pool, you swung it back to the beginning and repeated it until you felt a tug. As soon as you felt the pull of the fish heading back into the deep, you flung it as hard as you could up onto the bank. If you were lucky, the fish hadn't swallowed the hook, or had it even set, and you could throw it back into the water. We didn't really care if we caught anything, because if you kept them, you had to carry them, and clean them, and eventually, you know, eat them.
Creek fishing was not only a great way for two bored kids to pass time when summer got long, it was also amazingly simple. All it required was a pocket knife (to cut a willow pole), some fishing line (6-8 feet was more than enough), and a Skoal can (if you wanted to get all of your worms at once). It required an ability to withstand water the temperature of just-melted snow; equal amounts of skill, patience and luck; and only a moderate amount of quiet between the splashing and crashing and laughing.
And honestly, I am not sure why in the world I feel the desire to go fishing! Will post more if I come up with a good explanation.
And when I do go fishing, I want it to be creek fishing, like we did when we were kids. We had 40 acres, with a creek running through it. We could go fishing anytime we wanted, which we only did when we were extremely bored, or unless my dad took us. But it was a fun way to kill an afternoon, and a good excuse for playing in the creek, which was cold even during the warmest part of summer.
The water was only knee deep in most places, but full of rocks and fast-moving. The fish liked to hide in the deeper pools under banks and behind rocks, so creek fishing was more like hunting - you had to know what to look for. You dropped your hook, baited with a worm, into the edge of the pool where the water moved a little more slowly. You let it drift past the pool, hoping for a bite. When the hook got past the pool, you swung it back to the beginning and repeated it until you felt a tug. As soon as you felt the pull of the fish heading back into the deep, you flung it as hard as you could up onto the bank. If you were lucky, the fish hadn't swallowed the hook, or had it even set, and you could throw it back into the water. We didn't really care if we caught anything, because if you kept them, you had to carry them, and clean them, and eventually, you know, eat them.
Creek fishing was not only a great way for two bored kids to pass time when summer got long, it was also amazingly simple. All it required was a pocket knife (to cut a willow pole), some fishing line (6-8 feet was more than enough), and a Skoal can (if you wanted to get all of your worms at once). It required an ability to withstand water the temperature of just-melted snow; equal amounts of skill, patience and luck; and only a moderate amount of quiet between the splashing and crashing and laughing.
And honestly, I am not sure why in the world I feel the desire to go fishing! Will post more if I come up with a good explanation.
April 6, 2010
Horses in Spring
Wow, that caught me off guard. I saw a picture of a horse in a small grassy pasture and had an immediate desire to be somewhere I could ride, accompanied by memories of all of the smells that go along with horses and riding just for fun.
I can't remember a time when I was a kid that we didn't have at least a handful of horses, one of which was always considered mine. Sometimes we rode to help with work, sometimes we rode in parades or rodeos. Those times were always enjoyable, but my favorite times were the times I rode just because I could.
After a long winter of not riding, I couldn't wait for the days to be long enough and warm enough to ride after school. My friend Brandie would get off the bus one stop before mine, get her horse ready, and head to my house. She got there just as I was getting saddled up. We only had to let our parents know that we were riding, and the rules were easy - close gates behind you and be home by dark.
Sometimes we rode in the wide grassy space between the highway and the fence. Sometimes we crossed the highway and took the road that led to the creek. Sometimes we rode along the edge of the 100-acre hay field that separated Brandie's road from mine. It didn't matter where we went, we always found a place to let our horses run part of the way. After a long winter of not riding, the horses were sometimes a bit skittish and always ready to run as much as we would let them.
Never failed, we would wait as late as possible to head home, and usually came loping down the lane at the last possible minute. But it didn't matter how late I was, the other rule was to always take care of horse and tack first. That's the smell I remember most - the "after" smell of riding as I brushed out a sweaty coat, the smell of warm leather and the peculiar tang of a damp blanket as I lifted my saddle back up onto the rack. Walking back from taking my horse to the pasture, I might finally notice the good clean smell of a spring evening. I would take off my boots and wash my hands as instructed upon coming into the house, where the smell of dinner usually hid the faint scent of horse lingering on my worn out jeans.
Now, trying to separate the smells from the memories, I am remembering the smell of horses, and horse things, but thinking more about freedom, and being young, and doing something just because I could.
I can't remember a time when I was a kid that we didn't have at least a handful of horses, one of which was always considered mine. Sometimes we rode to help with work, sometimes we rode in parades or rodeos. Those times were always enjoyable, but my favorite times were the times I rode just because I could.
After a long winter of not riding, I couldn't wait for the days to be long enough and warm enough to ride after school. My friend Brandie would get off the bus one stop before mine, get her horse ready, and head to my house. She got there just as I was getting saddled up. We only had to let our parents know that we were riding, and the rules were easy - close gates behind you and be home by dark.
Sometimes we rode in the wide grassy space between the highway and the fence. Sometimes we crossed the highway and took the road that led to the creek. Sometimes we rode along the edge of the 100-acre hay field that separated Brandie's road from mine. It didn't matter where we went, we always found a place to let our horses run part of the way. After a long winter of not riding, the horses were sometimes a bit skittish and always ready to run as much as we would let them.
Never failed, we would wait as late as possible to head home, and usually came loping down the lane at the last possible minute. But it didn't matter how late I was, the other rule was to always take care of horse and tack first. That's the smell I remember most - the "after" smell of riding as I brushed out a sweaty coat, the smell of warm leather and the peculiar tang of a damp blanket as I lifted my saddle back up onto the rack. Walking back from taking my horse to the pasture, I might finally notice the good clean smell of a spring evening. I would take off my boots and wash my hands as instructed upon coming into the house, where the smell of dinner usually hid the faint scent of horse lingering on my worn out jeans.
Now, trying to separate the smells from the memories, I am remembering the smell of horses, and horse things, but thinking more about freedom, and being young, and doing something just because I could.
April 4, 2010
Parallel Poetry
Please don't do that Wind the spring
You're starting to Feel the twist
How many times It's too tight
Why can't you Just stop now
I told you It's going to
Don't make me Break
The only way to Find the release
Make me smile There's a way
Make me laugh That's the way
Make me feel One more time
Stop talking now Not too fast
Don't make me cry I may not stop
You're starting to Feel the twist
How many times It's too tight
Why can't you Just stop now
I told you It's going to
Don't make me Break
The only way to Find the release
Make me smile There's a way
Make me laugh That's the way
Make me feel One more time
Stop talking now Not too fast
Don't make me cry I may not stop
April 2, 2010
Surprises
I really don't like surprises. "Not even nice surprises?" you might ask. No, there is no such thing as a nice surprise.
There may be a surprise, immediately followed by an internal "oh crap", quickly followed by an "oh, be nice, this is a good thing", but by then it's not a surprise any more. It's just something to accept and deal with in the most socially acceptable manner.
But trust me, if you ever hear the words "Oh, what a nice surprise" from me, they are not the first words I thought of. I know, this is not very nice of me, but for people who know me very well, are you really surprised?
Seriously!?!
There may be a surprise, immediately followed by an internal "oh crap", quickly followed by an "oh, be nice, this is a good thing", but by then it's not a surprise any more. It's just something to accept and deal with in the most socially acceptable manner.
But trust me, if you ever hear the words "Oh, what a nice surprise" from me, they are not the first words I thought of. I know, this is not very nice of me, but for people who know me very well, are you really surprised?
Seriously!?!
April 1, 2010
To the Husband of...
To the husband of the lady driving the burgundy Tahoe:
If your wife offers to help you get dressed, RUN AWAY. If she zips your pants in any way like she zips the metaphorical zipper of merging onto the interstate during rush hour traffic, she is going to seriously injure you.
I know you don't know me, but trust me, I am just looking out for you and the boys.
Your Concerned Anonymous Friend
If your wife offers to help you get dressed, RUN AWAY. If she zips your pants in any way like she zips the metaphorical zipper of merging onto the interstate during rush hour traffic, she is going to seriously injure you.
I know you don't know me, but trust me, I am just looking out for you and the boys.
Your Concerned Anonymous Friend
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