Taking today off to get ready for the weekend. Not sure yet if I am taking the Miata or the mom-mobile. I am leaning toward the Miata, but it depends on how much stuff is required to take three kids on a weekend trip. One tent, three sleeping bags, our clothes and stuff, and CHEESE DIP.
L and I have the best cheese dip recipe from when we owned the restaurant. We don't make it very often because it makes a half gallon. I am making two this time, one with meat and one without. I will be popular :) The funnest thing about bringing it is that everyone will ask again for the recipe. I can't give it to them because it has a secret ingredient! It really does. It's a simple thing, but makes all the difference.
May 28, 2010
May 26, 2010
May 25, 2010
To the Lady in the Grocery Store
To the Lady in the Grocery Store:
Yeah, you. You know who I am because you gave me a crazy look every time we passed each other. I probably gave you a crazy look too, but only because I couldn't believe you were really wearing that outfit in public.
You didn't look like somebody who wanted advice, but here it is anyway.
There's no need to be ashamed of your poochy belly. Many post-menopausal women have that little bump out front. But for the love of chocolate, please do not wear stretch pants. All the stretch in the world wasn't gonna stretch far enough to cover that thing up. And your jacket was lovely. It caught my attention right away. Then it pointed right at your belly. And it wasn't pretty enough to make up for that, or for the cranky look on your face.
I know late-night shopping is more laid back than during regular hours, but seriously, that outfit would make anybody cranky.
Your Late-night Shopping Friend
Yeah, you. You know who I am because you gave me a crazy look every time we passed each other. I probably gave you a crazy look too, but only because I couldn't believe you were really wearing that outfit in public.
You didn't look like somebody who wanted advice, but here it is anyway.
There's no need to be ashamed of your poochy belly. Many post-menopausal women have that little bump out front. But for the love of chocolate, please do not wear stretch pants. All the stretch in the world wasn't gonna stretch far enough to cover that thing up. And your jacket was lovely. It caught my attention right away. Then it pointed right at your belly. And it wasn't pretty enough to make up for that, or for the cranky look on your face.
I know late-night shopping is more laid back than during regular hours, but seriously, that outfit would make anybody cranky.
Your Late-night Shopping Friend
May 21, 2010
Avocado, Day 121
It has grown this much in the month since we planted it. It looks like it may be ready to sprout some leaves soon. Unfortunately, I think the pineapple plant is a lost cause.May 20, 2010
I Deserve Better
A friend recently told me "You deserve better". I have been thinking a lot about that remark and whether or not I agree. As always, I am able to see the situation from many angles, as long as I don't mind the reflection looking back at me.
In most ways, I would say I do not deserve any more than what I have - a comfortable home, a job I like, and a family I would do anything for. That is not to say I don't want better. I want all sorts of things, large and small, and there's no point in listing them. There, right there. It's that sense of resignation that has been bothering me. It's not that I deserve better, or that I want better, it's that implication that I have stopped thinking I could do better.
I used to be much more ambitious and determined and hopeful. I knew what I wanted and what I was willing to do or give up to get it. Life has not always turned out the way I had hoped or planned. For the most part I am not bitter about these things, especially if I believe I did all I could do to make them work. But ambition and determination have been replaced by laziness and cynicism. Much easier and more convenient to gripe about things than to change them or replace them.
But I must still have hope, right? Yeah, let's call it hope that gets me through the day without stopping for a drink, that keeps disappointment from turning to bitterness, that allows me to even consider that I could have more. And if I still have hope, then maybe I can muster up a little more determination. And if not ambition exactly, then at least I can identify which things are worth wanting and working for.
If I don't at least acknowledge the idea of "more", then I have got exactly what I deserve.
In most ways, I would say I do not deserve any more than what I have - a comfortable home, a job I like, and a family I would do anything for. That is not to say I don't want better. I want all sorts of things, large and small, and there's no point in listing them. There, right there. It's that sense of resignation that has been bothering me. It's not that I deserve better, or that I want better, it's that implication that I have stopped thinking I could do better.
I used to be much more ambitious and determined and hopeful. I knew what I wanted and what I was willing to do or give up to get it. Life has not always turned out the way I had hoped or planned. For the most part I am not bitter about these things, especially if I believe I did all I could do to make them work. But ambition and determination have been replaced by laziness and cynicism. Much easier and more convenient to gripe about things than to change them or replace them.
But I must still have hope, right? Yeah, let's call it hope that gets me through the day without stopping for a drink, that keeps disappointment from turning to bitterness, that allows me to even consider that I could have more. And if I still have hope, then maybe I can muster up a little more determination. And if not ambition exactly, then at least I can identify which things are worth wanting and working for.
If I don't at least acknowledge the idea of "more", then I have got exactly what I deserve.
May 17, 2010
More Monday Morning Thoughts
1. How rearranging the clutter is not the same as getting rid of the clutter.
2. How a walking labyrinth works.
3. How I don't have to fill out the census form after all, because that nice Cheryl lady came to our house.
4. The F*** It list.
5. A late-night phone call, and how I still haven't decided if it was good or bad.
6. How I can't wait to get started on a couple of projects I have planned for this week.
7. How cool my computer screen looks with the Broncos theme I added :-)
8. How I have a habit of griping about things, until somebody else gripes about them too, and then I find myself defending them, or rethinking how awful they are/not.
9. How I really want to have something for the next writer's group, but I probably won't.
10. My niece K and especially L and how long before one or both of them is out of our lives at the rate she is going.
11. How sometimes it's nice to have no sense of smell, because I drove home with a wet dog in my lap yesterday and didn't even notice.
Some of these I will have forgotten before the day is over. Some I hope to write/do something about. Hopefully I'll wind up with fewer "big" thoughts as I the week goes by.
2. How a walking labyrinth works.
3. How I don't have to fill out the census form after all, because that nice Cheryl lady came to our house.
4. The F*** It list.
5. A late-night phone call, and how I still haven't decided if it was good or bad.
6. How I can't wait to get started on a couple of projects I have planned for this week.
7. How cool my computer screen looks with the Broncos theme I added :-)
8. How I have a habit of griping about things, until somebody else gripes about them too, and then I find myself defending them, or rethinking how awful they are/not.
9. How I really want to have something for the next writer's group, but I probably won't.
10. My niece K and especially L and how long before one or both of them is out of our lives at the rate she is going.
11. How sometimes it's nice to have no sense of smell, because I drove home with a wet dog in my lap yesterday and didn't even notice.
Some of these I will have forgotten before the day is over. Some I hope to write/do something about. Hopefully I'll wind up with fewer "big" thoughts as I the week goes by.
May 13, 2010
Go-Gator
The carnival is in town for the night. It doesn't usually hang around for the weekend, so we'll probably miss it. Kind of a bummer, 'cause the twins are about the right age to ride the Go-Gator. B lo-oved the Go-Gator when he was their age. He mastered the art of exiting and getting right back on before I or the ride operator could catch him. If the operator figured out what was going on, he'd give me a wink and we'd let him ride a few times, and I'd hand over a stack of tickets when I thought he'd had enough.
The funny thing is, I'd already decided that today had been a Go-Gator kind of day before I even realized the carnival was here. I spent most of my work day chatting with "him". Thinking back over the conversation we'd had, I compared today's rollercoaster ride to the Go-Gator - nice and easy, a few gentle ups and downs, but no jolts to the system, no sudden starts or stops. All in all, a few body parts fluttered, but not in a make-you-lose-your-lemonade kind of way.
Oh, the Go-Gator. The perfect ride for three-year olds and middle-aged soccer moms looking for a cheap thrill.
The funny thing is, I'd already decided that today had been a Go-Gator kind of day before I even realized the carnival was here. I spent most of my work day chatting with "him". Thinking back over the conversation we'd had, I compared today's rollercoaster ride to the Go-Gator - nice and easy, a few gentle ups and downs, but no jolts to the system, no sudden starts or stops. All in all, a few body parts fluttered, but not in a make-you-lose-your-lemonade kind of way.
Oh, the Go-Gator. The perfect ride for three-year olds and middle-aged soccer moms looking for a cheap thrill.
This Confirms It
A while back I went to the dentist for a routine visit. When I signed in for my appointment, there was a line for an email address. I left it blank. When I left, I was asked again for my email address, so I went ahead and gave it to her. The next time I checked my email I had a welcome message from my dentist. Whatever. A couple of days later, I received another email asking me to confirm my appointment, which I did. I also received a phone call the day before the appointment, which was a little weird, but no big deal.
Dr. Brad recommended some additional work, which would need to happen in two separate visits. This time I decided to schedule one visit only, not knowing what my schedule would look like that far out. A couple of days later I received my confirmation email, but I didn't respond, as the appointment was still over a month away. About two weeks ago, I received a card in the mail asking me to confirm the appointment. By now I was starting to wonder what the deal was, and tossed the card. A couple days ago, I received another email. I did respond to this one, that yes indeedy I was planning to visit the dentist as scheduled. Go figure.
So I go to the dentist again yesterday. It sucked by the way, and something is not right, but that's another story. When I was finished, I made the appointment for the next round of work. I was going to say something to the scheduler about there not really being a need to confirm the appointment more than once, but I didn't get the chance. Turns out, their fancy-schmancy scheduling software wasn't working correctly. The best she could do would be to type my name in the appointment block and give me a handwritten reminder card.
If I hadn't been so ready to go home and lay down for awhile, I would have considered making my annoyed face and pretending it was a huge inconvenience. But the truth is, the whole episode only confirmed what I have long believed, that the healthcare system is bloated and inefficient with unnecessary specialty areas that only make people think they are getting better care, when in fact they are lucky to get the same quality of care they have always gotten, but at a greater expense of resources.
Dr. Brad recommended some additional work, which would need to happen in two separate visits. This time I decided to schedule one visit only, not knowing what my schedule would look like that far out. A couple of days later I received my confirmation email, but I didn't respond, as the appointment was still over a month away. About two weeks ago, I received a card in the mail asking me to confirm the appointment. By now I was starting to wonder what the deal was, and tossed the card. A couple days ago, I received another email. I did respond to this one, that yes indeedy I was planning to visit the dentist as scheduled. Go figure.
So I go to the dentist again yesterday. It sucked by the way, and something is not right, but that's another story. When I was finished, I made the appointment for the next round of work. I was going to say something to the scheduler about there not really being a need to confirm the appointment more than once, but I didn't get the chance. Turns out, their fancy-schmancy scheduling software wasn't working correctly. The best she could do would be to type my name in the appointment block and give me a handwritten reminder card.
If I hadn't been so ready to go home and lay down for awhile, I would have considered making my annoyed face and pretending it was a huge inconvenience. But the truth is, the whole episode only confirmed what I have long believed, that the healthcare system is bloated and inefficient with unnecessary specialty areas that only make people think they are getting better care, when in fact they are lucky to get the same quality of care they have always gotten, but at a greater expense of resources.
May 12, 2010
Funnel Cakes
Went to my first baseball game of the season besides B's parks and rec league. After we passed out 4000 fans, we got to watch the Razorbacks beat Louisiana Tech 5-4 in overtime. It was a perfect night for baseball - not too hot, decent seats, a friendly crowd and a close game.
At one point we were walking through the crowd and I heard someone say "Mmm, funnel cakes." Besides L and B getting to come to the game with me, the only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been to be able to smell the ballpark smells. Well, at least the good smells, like sausage dogs and funnel cakes, but not the spilled beer and BO of a sold out crowd.
Honestly, nothing much could have annoyed me about this night. It really was a perfect baseball night.
At one point we were walking through the crowd and I heard someone say "Mmm, funnel cakes." Besides L and B getting to come to the game with me, the only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been to be able to smell the ballpark smells. Well, at least the good smells, like sausage dogs and funnel cakes, but not the spilled beer and BO of a sold out crowd.
Honestly, nothing much could have annoyed me about this night. It really was a perfect baseball night.
May 10, 2010
Best Friends
I HAVE A BEST FRIEND!!! I haven't had a best friend in a long time. I'm sure he doesn't share my interest in fashion accessories, and I know he could care less about DIY home improvment, but we have fun talking about all sorts of other things. I am looking forward to getting to know him even better, especially what pushes his buttons and convincing him it's OK to disgree sometimes, we can still be friends :) I didn't realize I missed having a best friend until now, but I am quite excited by this new designation.
May 5, 2010
The Moderately Distressing Turning Point
Oh no, no, no. This day is going on the calendar as the Day of the MDTP - the Moderately Distressing Turning Point.
My "Facebook Flirtation" is going on month three. For a couple of weeks now I have been trying to find the words to write more about it, with no success. Then today on the way home it just hit me and I literally had to catch my breath. I have been so excited about getting to know him all over again, but in the back of my mind I figured it would eventually play itself out. That may still eventually happen, but it doesn't appear to be happening any time soon. I admit that I very much do not want that to happen.
My dilemma is that I care very much for him and I sincerely want him to be happy, but I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to do that for him. I wanted very much to be able to tell him how I feel, and give him the chance to decide if what I can offer him is enough, but I hadn't found the right words. A kinder person would probably just cut him loose, quick and neat. But the truth is that I am selfish and I like him and I like having him around and whatever we have is important to me right now. I realized that I haven't wanted to write or say or do anything that might change things, because from my standpoint things are pretty good.
I have made a conscious decision that even that even though I know I am being selfish, and no good can come of this, I am going to do whatever I can to hold on to whatever this thing is. I am going to stop telling him that he deserves better (he does) and try to stop feeling guilty for keeping him hanging on. I will tell myself that he is responsible for his own decisions as much as I am responsible for mine. One of us will most probably wind up getting hurt. I will do everything possible to make sure it isn't him.
My "Facebook Flirtation" is going on month three. For a couple of weeks now I have been trying to find the words to write more about it, with no success. Then today on the way home it just hit me and I literally had to catch my breath. I have been so excited about getting to know him all over again, but in the back of my mind I figured it would eventually play itself out. That may still eventually happen, but it doesn't appear to be happening any time soon. I admit that I very much do not want that to happen.
My dilemma is that I care very much for him and I sincerely want him to be happy, but I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to do that for him. I wanted very much to be able to tell him how I feel, and give him the chance to decide if what I can offer him is enough, but I hadn't found the right words. A kinder person would probably just cut him loose, quick and neat. But the truth is that I am selfish and I like him and I like having him around and whatever we have is important to me right now. I realized that I haven't wanted to write or say or do anything that might change things, because from my standpoint things are pretty good.
I have made a conscious decision that even that even though I know I am being selfish, and no good can come of this, I am going to do whatever I can to hold on to whatever this thing is. I am going to stop telling him that he deserves better (he does) and try to stop feeling guilty for keeping him hanging on. I will tell myself that he is responsible for his own decisions as much as I am responsible for mine. One of us will most probably wind up getting hurt. I will do everything possible to make sure it isn't him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
