To the Lady in the Grocery Store

To the Lady in the Grocery Store:

Yeah, you. You know who I am because you gave me a crazy look every time we passed each other. I probably gave you a crazy look too, but only because I couldn't believe you were really wearing that outfit in public.

You didn't look like somebody who wanted advice, but here it is anyway.

There's no need to be ashamed of your poochy belly.  Many post-menopausal women have that little bump out front. But for the love of chocolate, please do not wear stretch pants. All the stretch in the world wasn't gonna stretch far enough to cover that thing up. And your jacket was lovely. It caught my attention right away. Then it pointed right at your belly. And it wasn't pretty enough to make up for that, or for the cranky look on your face.

I know late-night shopping is more laid back than during regular hours, but seriously, that outfit would make anybody cranky.

Your Late-night Shopping Friend