I'm a Jewel!!!

I had the best intentions when I left the house this morning.  My kids were going to be well-behaved.  My lesson was going to go as planned.  It was going to be a beautiful day to play outside.

About 20 minutes into church I realized that my children had not gotten the memo.  By 45 minutes in we were camped out in the mother's lounge, with two crying and myself about to start.  We made it to Primary, where it quickly became obvious that many of the children had not gotten the all-important memo, but we proceeded as planned.

At some point, I realized that some of the tension had gone out of me.  I am honestly not sure if it was the music, that other people sort of stepped up, or that I just quit fighting it.  Whatever it was, by the time I left church I was smiling and joking again, as were my kids.

The afternoon was not as warm as I had hoped it would be, but we ended up having a good day anyway.  The twins practiced riding their new bikes, and B and I spent a nice time just talking and making birthday plans.

When I got home, I posted a general thanks on Facebook to the people who had offered a hand, or a kind word, or even a compliment.  I was a bit surprised by the responses.  All day I thought I must have looked like a total basket case.  Apparently I had fooled more than a few people that it was a day like any other.

It was not a day like any other.  On any other day, I would not have been told to go home and remind my husband that "I was a jewel"!

Raggedy Ann

My FB word of the day was "raggedy".  My mom asked me how I decided the word of the day.  I told her it usually came from something I heard in conversation or in passing that just stuck with me.  I didn't tell her that today I picked raggedy because it was the best word I could think of to describe how I was feeling.

How do you tell your mom that you feel a lot like an old doll you had as a kid: well-loved, but also a little bit like you have been dragged through the dirt by one arm?  If you're like me, you don't say a word, you just prop yourself up, plaster on the big smile and hope nobody looks too closely at the eyes.

Heart Pains

I went to bed last night with an ache in my chest.  Made me think of a conversation I recently had with a friend about heartbreak.  I told him the theory that a broken heart isn't a bad thing.  It just means you didn't keep your heart to yourself, but shared it with someone else, and sometimes it gets hurt that way.

Having had my own broken before, I am very careful with other people's hearts.  I am afraid to say that the reason I am feeling crummy is because I may have caused someone else's hurt.