Bittersweet

I haven't posted in so long because a: I have been busy and b: I have so many things going through my head at any given time that I have a hard time focusing on just one idea. Any attempt to post usually winds up being just another list of random thoughts. To wit:

• I have decided that something I hate even more than I hate reality TV - the morons who watch it, and perpetuate its very existence. On the other hand, the lack of intelligent programming means I finally got around to watching The Other F Word, which was funny and poignant and a little disturbing but mostly though-provoking.

• Paul Thorn at the Rev Room was amazing! He is like a younger Steve Goodman, only in the persona of a meth head preacher's son from Mississippi.
• The school shooting in Connecticut - almost a week later and I am still trying to wrap my head around the awfulness of it.
• Not ready for Christmas at all. I should be making chocolates instead of blogging, travel plans are undecided, and damn it all to hell, I am not going to get through it without a trip to Wally World. I am such a failure :-/
• Actually looked for signs of my old friend Bubba today. Maybe because I have too much alone time lately, maybe because I am feeling very disconnected from the people in my life, maybe just because.
• How I am one of the only people in my family to have gone to college. It didn't make me any smarter than most of them, but it did certainly give me a broader view of the world than some of my idiot cousins.
• I finally have a smart phone. I never thought I "needed" one but I like it, when I can get it away from my kids : )
• Feeling guilty I have not completed the anthology for writers' group. I am always very motivated when I leave the meeting, but then lose steam. I have decided I would get more from critique group if I could work it out.
• "Single life" is turning out to not be so different from married life. B and I seem to be doing alright this week. D has a shiner and L is about to lose a tooth. Other than looking like a total welfare family as we drive down the street, life is OK.
• Loving the Broncos this year. Still not Peyton Manning's biggest fan, but he has raised the bar for some players who were merely promising before.

OK, finally getting my head cleared. Time to make truffles. Last night's were white rum. Tonight it's bittersweet orange. They are not as pretty as Dianna's, but they are soooooo good.

Oh yeah, and for no reason whatsoever, except that he is hot:

Forward

What a very weird last couple of weeks it has been. Things were already kind of tense, between waiting on L's job situation, the election, my job hunt, B in general, and everything else.

Starting with the election, I am pretty pleased with the result, except that my district re-elected an idiot to the Senate. My co-worker and I have had lots of laughs at the expense of the people who feel their "side" "lost". If even a small portion of them would just shut their pie holes or move to Wyoming already, it wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit. I did get unfriended by one person. No great loss, I was about to cut him loose if he hadn't had the coconuts to do it himself. As for Rob, we'll see.

L started job training with Maverick on Sunday. I can tell already that there are going to be things I like about it, but that it is going to be very hard. He's gonna need to check in often to make sure I haven't killed B. Or maybe we'll get in a groove-last night we did alright. He's a good kid, but he got his momma's smart mouth and his dad's stubbornness, which means he is often in trouble, but never, ever "wrong".

Wednesday night I had weird dreams, which I haven't had in awhile. The cluttered version of the art building from college and the attic under construction are both recurring, but the dream of someone from college that turned a little kinky was definitely new! Not sure where that came from.

Lunch yesterday with Pam and Kim was good, and the craft thing tomorrow will be fun. I am trying very hard to reach out to people and to quit being so tight about admitting when I am not OK. After the thing in the morning, I am taking L to get her ears pierced for her birthday. D wants his to be a surprise. Then lunch with them at school on their birthday, and probably headed to OK for Thanksgiving. We don't always go, but coming so soon after G's passing, everyone has decided to make the effort this year. Hoping to go to CO again for Christmas, but won't know details until after next week.

I hate not being able to make a plan, but I am trying to adjust to the fact that this is how life is going to be for awhile. Forward :)

Random Fall Thoughts

Wow, what a difference a month makes. The last post was one of those posts just for something to write. Then on September 25th, L's grandma passed away. We spent the next week in OK, then came home to begin prepping for the next phase. Biggest news of the last few weeks:

• L starts his new job on Sunday, if all of his tests go well.
• B is grounded into literally next year. For what? you ask. Mostly for having a smart mouth. Pretty sure he got that from his dad :)
• L's art work was featured in the county fair, where she received a blue ribbon and $2!
• Idiot neighbor kid broke one of our windows right before the weather got bad, so we haven't fixed it yet. Don't we look like the white trashiest house on the block!
• Applying for every job that looks remotely like something better than what I have.
• Other than the window, our house is looking pretty great. L's room almost finished, boys' room almost finished, warm weather forecast for Saturday, when we hope to get everything winterized and wrapped up before L starts new gig.
• Yeah, Peyton Manning's alright after all.

And the last word, in the news that is so old news, can I just say that I am SO sick of the political hate that is going around right now. I live in a state that no self-respecting politician ever visits, I already know who I am voting for, and if those people didn't go to my church, I would have un-friended them months ago.