Ellie and Bubba J - Chapter 2

So what kind of thing did I have with him? Depends on who you ask, and on what kind of day. Depends on if you will accept a definition of what it wasn't as much as what it was. Depends on my ability to just write it down without trying to be witty or wise or without editing as I go, so here goes...

It was not an affair, although it shared many characteristics of that kind of relationship - it was thrilling, and intense, and meaningful in its way. It was something I looked forward to and planned my time around. It could have completely consumed me if I had let it. It was also something I instinctively kept to myself and something I tried not to examine too closely. It was something I held on to even when I recognized that it was a bad idea.

It was something I couldn't explain, which was fine, because in many ways no explanation was needed. To use an already overused phrase, it just was what it was.

His wife was convinced it was something more. My husband accepted it when I told him it was a Facebook reconnect with someone I used to know. In many ways, that's all it was. True that we spent a lot of time texting or chatting, but more often than not we talked about music, sports, work, plans for the weekend, or whatever. We talked a little about the past, but it certainly wasn't like we were trying to relive it, or plan a future for that matter. A few times we talked about what we might do if we got a chance to meet up, but we never made specific plans to get together. Other than a couple of pics, I still haven't seen him since college.

So, no meeting, no plans, no phone sex, ha ha. No more contact from his wife. Why then am I still going on about it?

to be continued...