Relationships by the Numbers

Through the magicurse that is FaceBook, I am now "friends" with 1) the guy I had a crush on since 8th grade, 2) the guy I went to my Junior Prom with, 3) the first guy I ever fell really hard for, 4) the guy who would have gladly been the rebound guy, had I not turned him down, and 5) the first guy I had a long-term relationship with, among others.

Numbers one and two don't count. They are guys I went to high school with. It was a small school and most of us have kept in touch since before FB. Number 3 lives in England and is doing quite well. Once we got all of the preliminary catching up out of the way, I am content to be among his numerous friends/fans. His band recently released their 4th EP worldwide.

Numbers 3 and 5 have been on my mind more than most lately.  Number 3 because we have reconnected in a more spectacular way than I could have anticipated. Number 5 because he just got divorced, and we have talked some about this, as well as some possible new developments in our respective lives.

The reason I am writing about any of them at all is because Number 3 implied today that his marriage may be coming to an end. He has mentioned this before, but not in a way that suggested it might be in the foreseeable future. We haven't talked about it, so I do not know any of the details. That's not really my point for this post.

The point is that one of my first thoughts today was to note that the two people I was most serious about before my husband are also two of the people I have talked with lately about relationships.  The self-centered part of me automatically inserts myself into their situations, in the guise of trying to relate their situation(s) to mine.

Now keep in mind that the self-centered part of me is not the confident type, it is the neurotic type. I have no reason to think the break up of their marriages has anything to do with me. No, the thought I am left with at the end of the day, other than concern about what prompted my friend to mention his marriage in this way, is to wonder if either of them would have been as willing to reconnect and open up about relationships past and present if their current situations had been in better shape.

The neurotic part of me finds it hard to imagine that either of them looked me up for any reason other than to be polite and maybe satisfy their curiosity. Oh wait, I looked them up. All they had to do was accept the invite. They probably really were just being polite. The reason(s) for the overture on my part will have to wait for another day.