No Title - Just Pissed

It has been a couple of hours but I am still so angry I will probably be up for awhile.

I have a niece. She is close in age to the twins, and the three of them get along really well. She has only spent the night with my mother-in-law a few times, but never at our house even though she has been invited. So this weekend there was a funeral for a friend of my husband's family. I offered to babysit so my sister-in-law could go to the funeral, and also offered to keep Lily for the weekend, since L is working and I didn't have big plans. She took me up on the offer and we made plans for Lily to stay with us until Monday night or Tuesday morning, at which point she would go to my in-laws'/her great-grandma's for a day or two.

So yesterday was fine. I had four kids under the age of six, plus random 11 year-old boys wandering in and out. Lily was good all day, except when she was tired. She did fine today at church, sitting with her cousins and going to class without a fuss. Tonight we went to a community picnic with my in-laws. All three of the little kids were hot and tired and ready to go home. As we loaded the car, Lily whined a little about going to grandma's. I had pretty much convinced her coming home with us would be great, because her clothes and her special bear were here waiting for her, and I have promised them all homemade blueberry pancakes for breakfast. She was waiting for us to pile in the car, when B comes along and tries to tell her goodbye, have fun at grandma's. I give him the evil eye, while using my best patient voice to say that no, Lily needs to get in the car with me, she's not going to grandma's until tomorrow. She proceeds to start whining again and grandma takes her hand and says OK, you can just come with me, at which point I sort of lost it.

I said something like "whatever, I'm done", when my mother-in-law pipes up and says "I totally understand". If she said more, I didn't hear it because I got in the van and left, thinking you so obviously don't understand, you stupid f***ing cow, or you would have just put her in the car and told her you'd see her tomorrow. So I leave the parking lot, simultaneously yelling at B for opening his mouth, cursing my mother-in-law in my head, trying to think of a suitable answer for my two about why Lily isn't coming with us and ignoring the ringing phone because I don't feel sure I will be able to be civil.

I do answer L's call, and it turns out he needs me to stop so he can get a car seat, Lily is coming with us after all. I stop and let him get the seat, but leave before clueless lady pulls in. Half way home L calls again and says Lily wouldn't get in the car with him but was crying about her bear. He told her if she wanted the bear, she had to come to his house. He was calling to give me a heads up that his mom just might be willing to drive 18 miles to pick up the stupid bear, but I wasn't worried.

Why wasn't I worried?

BECAUSE AS MOST PARENTS OF AN EXHAUSTED PRESCHOOLER CAN TELL YOU, SHE WAS GOING TO F***ING BE ASLEEP AS SOON AS THE CAR GOT MOVING, AND TOMORROW SHE WON'T REMEMBER THAT SHE HADN'T WANTED TO COME, JUST WONDER WHERE THE TWINS ARE.

Thing is, I wasn't surprised that Lily wanted to go to grandma's, so I am not upset about that. I am just upset that after all this time, the woman doesn't get when it is OK to be the grandparent and spoil them a little, and when it is not OK to be the parent. Instead, she traded me one slightly whiny one for two who kept asking questions I couldn't politely answer (Lily didn't want to come to our house - why? + possible tears. Or Lily wanted to go to grandma's - well, I wanted to go to grandma's too. Or Lily needs to learn that whining doesn't get you what you want - that will come back to bite me on the butt). She also showed Lily that whining will indeed get her what she wants. Her gran is sure going to appreciate that by the end of the week.

Speaking of whom, I had one text and one voice mail from her asking how Lily was doing. I was a coward and just texted her back, saying Lily was fine, she was at her grandma's tonight.

So while there were no fireworks at the picnic, there were definitely some angry sparks shooting from my direction. Still a little pissed, and trying not to be a baby, what's best for Lily, blah blah blah.

Now I get to spend the day with mine tomorrow, who were asleep half-way home (big surprise) but who will be very disappointed that Lily isn't here when they wake up. As for Lily, that poor kid already has two addicts for parents, a grandma trying to raise her, a great-grandma who will be on my list for a few days over this, and a day missed with the most normal people in her family. Or at least I hope to be after sleeping on it myself.

I hope clueless lady finds one very pissed off daughter-in-law and three disappointed grand kids to be a good trade for an extra day with the one grandchild she was already going to spend several days with. As for me, I am going to enjoy the hell out of pancakes made with other people's blueberries!!!