I dreamed I was among a group of people walking around and around a large property. There was a cemetery at one end. We did not walk around that, although it was clearly part of the same property. In our effort to avoid it, we walked in random steps around every edge and structure. This led me to stop beside a retaining wall, where I shared a few words with Wilda. Her niece passed away earlier this week on what should have been her 42nd birthday.
In the next scene, I was on the other side of the retaining wall, in what appeared to be a storage area between rooms. It contained a round table with a couple of men seated at it. I set my jacket and a half full pitcher in an empty seat. Then I walked around to the opposite side, put my arms around Him from behind, and whispered into his ear, "watch my beer. You can have some, but don't let anyone else have any". He laughed that familiar laugh and said "I can have some, huh?". "Sure, dude", I said. "I'm going for a walk."
I REALLY do not know what this dream was all about.
November 14, 2019
February 15, 2019
I Dreamed a Dream
I dreamed I was invited to spend the weekend at a house. I do not know who invited me. I do not know where it was. All I know is that the house reminded me of the kinds of houses we lived in in college - circa 1950s, with white aluminum siding, crooked metal awnings, porches with fake wrought iron holding up the corners, cracked linoleum and cheap paneling inside, except for the kitchens painted white to hide the layers of years' worth of paint and grime. I didn't know anyone else there except for Him.
I wasn't particularly surprised to see him for some reason. We spent the whole weekend politely avoiding each other. I don't remember anything we did while we were there until the last day. A few of us were carrying out trash and mopping up a floor that was sticky for some reason. Somehow the two of us were the only people in the kitchen. We edged into a little pantry alcove, where he leaned against the wall, and I leaned against him. He was wearing a gray t-shirt, and was solid yet comfortable at the same time.
I woke up almost immediately, with a feeling of having very noticeably, physically relaxed. As in, just letting go, and not feeling that I had to to be in control of everything, even if just for a minute.
I laid in bed for another five minutes, trying to get that feeling back.
I wasn't particularly surprised to see him for some reason. We spent the whole weekend politely avoiding each other. I don't remember anything we did while we were there until the last day. A few of us were carrying out trash and mopping up a floor that was sticky for some reason. Somehow the two of us were the only people in the kitchen. We edged into a little pantry alcove, where he leaned against the wall, and I leaned against him. He was wearing a gray t-shirt, and was solid yet comfortable at the same time.
I woke up almost immediately, with a feeling of having very noticeably, physically relaxed. As in, just letting go, and not feeling that I had to to be in control of everything, even if just for a minute.
I laid in bed for another five minutes, trying to get that feeling back.
June 20, 2018
May 24, 2017
That Damn Travel Column
So I finally completed the latest issue of the newsletter, about a month late. I knew it would be delayed somewhat because the prez and the ED wouldn't get me their articles until after the spring meetings. I did everything else I could ahead of time, and was hoping to just insert their content and be finished, but it didn't work that way. About the time we returned from traveling for the meetings, I discovered my computer had a problem that required it to be sent off for repairs. I did as much as I could, and saved it all to work on at home. Then the prez finally sent his article. It was longer than I had space for, so I basically started over, working from a flash drive and a different version of the software. I scrapped a few things, moved things around, and actually came up with a better version that the original. But one of the things I could not find space for was a photo.
I shared the update version with my coworkers for their review. Both commented on the fact that the photo got cut, and I agreed that it was too bad, because it was a great photo. Then one had to comment that it was too bad that one article was so long (it was the front page article, FFS) and wondered if I could make that other thing smaller (not if I want people to be able to read it). The other asked me where I came up with the front page article anyway (it was suggested by a member).
Notice how nobody offered to change what they had submitted? Yeah, me either.
I shared the update version with my coworkers for their review. Both commented on the fact that the photo got cut, and I agreed that it was too bad, because it was a great photo. Then one had to comment that it was too bad that one article was so long (it was the front page article, FFS) and wondered if I could make that other thing smaller (not if I want people to be able to read it). The other asked me where I came up with the front page article anyway (it was suggested by a member).
Notice how nobody offered to change what they had submitted? Yeah, me either.
Karma
So the boss I used to complain about? The one who never did anything, or was unethical and incompetent when she did? She managed to get on the legislative radar, and the agency has been absorbed into DHS. Kim found a new position with another agency, which sounds like a great move for her. SJ actually got a position with DHS. She is gonna hate it.
June 6, 2016
Mary, Mary, Quite the B*tch
My organization publishes a quarterly newsletter for our members. My job description states that I am responsible for gathering, editing and laying out the newsletter with assistance from staff and others. Gathering consists of me reminding the board prez and the director that I need their articles, requesting the applicable content from M, the office/travel manager and others, and then filling the rest of the pages with news and content. I try not to edit the first two so that their messages have a distinct "voice". The content I provide is already edited as I write and insert it. Most of the content from M does not require editing because it just lists the information from a database. The travel section however is a freaking nightmare every time.
First of all, she sends it to me already formatted. This is a pain because it is formatted for Word, but not for the program I use to publish. So I spend too much time changing the formatting to fit the publication template. Second of all, she does not like me to edit the trip descriptions at all, even though when I do it is to make the listings uniform (heading, date, description, price, etc.) or so that I can avoid a widow or cut a line for space. You know, for pics and content more interesting than heading, date, description, price. Third, she expects me to include an entire column of content describing the travel program itself.
This last is the most annoying. First, it takes up too much space that could be used to tell or show the actual trips. Second, she uses a narrative style instead of easy to read bullet points to give basic information. It is poorly written with incomplete sentences and info like the web address and phone number buried in the middle of a paragraph. Third, one whole poorly-written paragraph is a testimonial for our travel agency. This would be less annoying if she didn't have a regular hissy fit about people trying to use our publication to get to our members.
For this last issue, she sent it to me and pointed out that she had rewritten the descriptive column. It was worse than before. I entered all of the trip listings first so I would know how much space I had to work with, and then I tackled the column. I tried to compromise, leaving some of it like it was before and adding the new content she had provided. It read OK and fit the space, but she was not happy about me changing it and let me know it.
I explained everything I said above, but stopped short of telling her that her writing was terrible. So she "tweaked it" and sent it back with the comment that it should fit the space as written, as if that was the problem. This time she included a closing and her name.
With her rewrite, she included the original trip descriptions. This time, I cut and pasted everything exactly as she had written it. The only changes I made were to the formatting so that it at least looked like it should. I did not spell check it. I did not correct her punctuation. I did not inquire about missing info on one of the descriptions. I cut and pasted everything exactly as she had written it, including her signature.She glanced at it long enough to see that I had put her column as written and never looked at the rest of it because her material doesn't need edited.
Part of me is glad that we got the issue out in time, in spite of this and several other challenges. But another part of me is angry that I put out an issue that wasn't as good as it should have been. As the editor, that is my job too. Even the board prez and the director actually want me to double-check them and make them look and sound good. Part of me hopes no one reads it that closely or thinks poorly of my editorial and publishing skills when they do. The b*tch in me dares her to say anything about the "errors" so that I can point out that they were her errors, with her signature, and that I tried several times to fix them.
This is both true and not true. I did try to fix them in a way that was satisfactory to us both. Her refusal to compromise on even one word, in spite of the fact that I am the editor and it is my job, defies logic. I keep telling myself that it is her signature on it, not mine, but that is not entirely true either.
First of all, she sends it to me already formatted. This is a pain because it is formatted for Word, but not for the program I use to publish. So I spend too much time changing the formatting to fit the publication template. Second of all, she does not like me to edit the trip descriptions at all, even though when I do it is to make the listings uniform (heading, date, description, price, etc.) or so that I can avoid a widow or cut a line for space. You know, for pics and content more interesting than heading, date, description, price. Third, she expects me to include an entire column of content describing the travel program itself.
This last is the most annoying. First, it takes up too much space that could be used to tell or show the actual trips. Second, she uses a narrative style instead of easy to read bullet points to give basic information. It is poorly written with incomplete sentences and info like the web address and phone number buried in the middle of a paragraph. Third, one whole poorly-written paragraph is a testimonial for our travel agency. This would be less annoying if she didn't have a regular hissy fit about people trying to use our publication to get to our members.
For this last issue, she sent it to me and pointed out that she had rewritten the descriptive column. It was worse than before. I entered all of the trip listings first so I would know how much space I had to work with, and then I tackled the column. I tried to compromise, leaving some of it like it was before and adding the new content she had provided. It read OK and fit the space, but she was not happy about me changing it and let me know it.
I explained everything I said above, but stopped short of telling her that her writing was terrible. So she "tweaked it" and sent it back with the comment that it should fit the space as written, as if that was the problem. This time she included a closing and her name.
With her rewrite, she included the original trip descriptions. This time, I cut and pasted everything exactly as she had written it. The only changes I made were to the formatting so that it at least looked like it should. I did not spell check it. I did not correct her punctuation. I did not inquire about missing info on one of the descriptions. I cut and pasted everything exactly as she had written it, including her signature.She glanced at it long enough to see that I had put her column as written and never looked at the rest of it because her material doesn't need edited.
Part of me is glad that we got the issue out in time, in spite of this and several other challenges. But another part of me is angry that I put out an issue that wasn't as good as it should have been. As the editor, that is my job too. Even the board prez and the director actually want me to double-check them and make them look and sound good. Part of me hopes no one reads it that closely or thinks poorly of my editorial and publishing skills when they do. The b*tch in me dares her to say anything about the "errors" so that I can point out that they were her errors, with her signature, and that I tried several times to fix them.
This is both true and not true. I did try to fix them in a way that was satisfactory to us both. Her refusal to compromise on even one word, in spite of the fact that I am the editor and it is my job, defies logic. I keep telling myself that it is her signature on it, not mine, but that is not entirely true either.
The Usual
Ugh. So I haven't posted in for evah. Partly because I have been busy, partly because it is hard work to maintain and partly because I basically whine about the same things over and over any way.
To whit: L is gone, B is your basic adolescent a-hole, L is at grandma's, D is outside playing dodge the kickball and M is the biggest spoiled baby of them all.
The breakdown: Dodge the kickball is played when you do not have enough players to play a real game of kick ball. The players take turns kicking the ball and trying to run to the other base and back while the other players try to nail them with the ball before they get back home. My kids and the neighbor kids play this game often. No one has gotten hurt...yet.
L is at grandma's house because her cousin is in town for the week. She didn't really want to spend the night but I talked her into it because Lily is here for the whole week at the last minute, and grandma needs help entertaining her. Never mind that I have already paid for the week of camp and that we already had plans. I compromised and said if she would spend the night tonight she could come home tomorrow for swimming and the zoo.
D has practice starting tomorrow night for the all-star team. He will miss the tournament this weekend because we are going to OK, but he'll be back for division tourney and state if they make it that far. He prefers playing catcher but does pretty well in the outfield too. I kind of wish he had been able to do the travel team, but am also kind of glad we didn't go for it.
B will be home from her house at any time. He was mowing their lawn, which is cool. He will need to mow a bunch since he hasn't had much success finding another job and he has about a month to come up with enough to pay a ticket.
In the latest battle of wills between M and me: she probably thinks she "won" because she got her article exactly as written. I prefer to think of it as making her work for it. More in a separate post.
Oh yeah, and I got another Miata. It is red with black stripes. It has both a hard and a soft top. The body is a bit rough, and it has a few things wrong with it, but it I look awesome in it while driving a stick and getting 30 mpg.
To whit: L is gone, B is your basic adolescent a-hole, L is at grandma's, D is outside playing dodge the kickball and M is the biggest spoiled baby of them all.
The breakdown: Dodge the kickball is played when you do not have enough players to play a real game of kick ball. The players take turns kicking the ball and trying to run to the other base and back while the other players try to nail them with the ball before they get back home. My kids and the neighbor kids play this game often. No one has gotten hurt...yet.
L is at grandma's house because her cousin is in town for the week. She didn't really want to spend the night but I talked her into it because Lily is here for the whole week at the last minute, and grandma needs help entertaining her. Never mind that I have already paid for the week of camp and that we already had plans. I compromised and said if she would spend the night tonight she could come home tomorrow for swimming and the zoo.
D has practice starting tomorrow night for the all-star team. He will miss the tournament this weekend because we are going to OK, but he'll be back for division tourney and state if they make it that far. He prefers playing catcher but does pretty well in the outfield too. I kind of wish he had been able to do the travel team, but am also kind of glad we didn't go for it.
B will be home from her house at any time. He was mowing their lawn, which is cool. He will need to mow a bunch since he hasn't had much success finding another job and he has about a month to come up with enough to pay a ticket.
In the latest battle of wills between M and me: she probably thinks she "won" because she got her article exactly as written. I prefer to think of it as making her work for it. More in a separate post.
Oh yeah, and I got another Miata. It is red with black stripes. It has both a hard and a soft top. The body is a bit rough, and it has a few things wrong with it, but it I look awesome in it while driving a stick and getting 30 mpg.
February 19, 2016
General Update
I keep thinking I am going to get back to posting on a regular basis, but it feels like i never have time. I spent my two days off this week sleeping and feeling like crud. I think it is just sinus/allergy related, nothing contagious, but I am almost wishing it was the 24-hour bug and already over instead of this lingering junk. I can clear my sinuses if I want to, but the medicine that works makes me dopey and unable to focus, so not really ideal for days I work.
Work is OK. I finally made a label with "TPANYF - JDYFJ" and stuck it inside my desk. Anyone who sees it will probably think it's a password or something, when in fact it is a reminder that this is just work, nothing more. It helps.
Kids are just finishing basketball. D is playing point guard, which is interesting. He plays there because he is short and a bit cocky, but he will need to improve his skills considerably to play beyond peewee ball. L has already said that she will probably not play again next year, which is fine. One of her coaches runs cross country, and L is very excited to try anything that involves running. In fact, when her softball team fell apart, she went back to soccer because it was more running. I hate that she doesn't want to stick with softball, it being my favorite and all, but I think she liked it for the social aspects as much as for the sport. Unfortunate, as she was beginning to practice batting both directions, and she is a pretty good batter, but she is more competitive with herself than with others, so maybe running is a good thing for her. Just hope she doesn't ask me to practice with her!!! Baseball for D and soccer for L will start just as soon as basketball is over, so same busy schedule as far as activities go.
B and L are still a thing, but I think some of the new is finally wearing off. She is a nice kid, but a bit manipulative. I don't want to see him trying to change for someone else, but most of the time it justs makes him behave better :) He turns 16 soon, and provided the drug tests keep coming back clean, he can get his license. He has been giving some thought to jobs he is interested in, although choices for someone his age in our town are not great. He is hoping to start putting in applications soon, then following up with them after his birthday. Maybe he will have something before school is out and all of the other kids start looking too. I don't need him to work a lot, but enough to have some spending money and responsibility would be good. I can't find enough for him to do around our house.
Not that we don't have plenty to do, but I am back to looking for a new contractor. The guy we had doing things last fall completely flaked and disappeared. I can pick up business cards all day long, but would rather get a referral from someone who has seen their work. We have a contractor lined up for the garage, but I still have some things I need help with, like the second-story trim, framing a window, painting, and building steps. It is an ongoing project, but hopefully we can stay ahead of the next big disaster, which is a leak in the bathroom. Ugh.
On a positive note, the long weekend in Chattanooga/Nashville was fun. I am not as interested in Chattanooga as L is, but would definitely take the kids to Nashville for a weekend sometime. We did have a long talk about staying where we are vs. moving, and will probably stay where we are for the foreseeable future. I can live with that, as long as we are not just living in the same dump, doing the same things, with no change at all, until it is too late to do anything else.
How come the good change is always slow to come and takes work but the bad change is usually quick and unavoidable?
Work is OK. I finally made a label with "TPANYF - JDYFJ" and stuck it inside my desk. Anyone who sees it will probably think it's a password or something, when in fact it is a reminder that this is just work, nothing more. It helps.
Kids are just finishing basketball. D is playing point guard, which is interesting. He plays there because he is short and a bit cocky, but he will need to improve his skills considerably to play beyond peewee ball. L has already said that she will probably not play again next year, which is fine. One of her coaches runs cross country, and L is very excited to try anything that involves running. In fact, when her softball team fell apart, she went back to soccer because it was more running. I hate that she doesn't want to stick with softball, it being my favorite and all, but I think she liked it for the social aspects as much as for the sport. Unfortunate, as she was beginning to practice batting both directions, and she is a pretty good batter, but she is more competitive with herself than with others, so maybe running is a good thing for her. Just hope she doesn't ask me to practice with her!!! Baseball for D and soccer for L will start just as soon as basketball is over, so same busy schedule as far as activities go.
B and L are still a thing, but I think some of the new is finally wearing off. She is a nice kid, but a bit manipulative. I don't want to see him trying to change for someone else, but most of the time it justs makes him behave better :) He turns 16 soon, and provided the drug tests keep coming back clean, he can get his license. He has been giving some thought to jobs he is interested in, although choices for someone his age in our town are not great. He is hoping to start putting in applications soon, then following up with them after his birthday. Maybe he will have something before school is out and all of the other kids start looking too. I don't need him to work a lot, but enough to have some spending money and responsibility would be good. I can't find enough for him to do around our house.
Not that we don't have plenty to do, but I am back to looking for a new contractor. The guy we had doing things last fall completely flaked and disappeared. I can pick up business cards all day long, but would rather get a referral from someone who has seen their work. We have a contractor lined up for the garage, but I still have some things I need help with, like the second-story trim, framing a window, painting, and building steps. It is an ongoing project, but hopefully we can stay ahead of the next big disaster, which is a leak in the bathroom. Ugh.
On a positive note, the long weekend in Chattanooga/Nashville was fun. I am not as interested in Chattanooga as L is, but would definitely take the kids to Nashville for a weekend sometime. We did have a long talk about staying where we are vs. moving, and will probably stay where we are for the foreseeable future. I can live with that, as long as we are not just living in the same dump, doing the same things, with no change at all, until it is too late to do anything else.
How come the good change is always slow to come and takes work but the bad change is usually quick and unavoidable?
January 15, 2016
Goodbye 2015
Wow, so much has happened since I posted last. For the purpose of clearing my thoughts so I can get back to work, I am just going to make a list of possible topics that I have thought about in the last year:
1. B - Where to start? He is 15, he has a girlfriend, he took the truck without permission and blew the transmission, his friends are all idiots and I don't think he has smoked pot again since he got caught. He is home from school today with a sprained ankle.
2. The twins - both mostly amazing, occasionally challenging.
3. L - still driving a truck. Life without him home is different than with. Not sure which I handle better. On a positive note, we are going to Nashville for the weekend in a couple of weeks. Hopefully good weather and a good time.
4. Work - I pretty much don't speak to M. After more than a year, I can't decide if D is brilliant or completely ignorant.
5. Football - the Broncos are in the playoffs, baby!!! Already arranging my weekend so that I can watch them play Pittsburgh on Sunday. Hoping for the best but will not be surprised if they blow it.
6. Family - K suddenly married to some random guy. T expected to be released next month. My brother engaged, no date set that I know of.
7. The 'hood - the house next door burned down right after Thanksgiving. No one was living there, and some question about whether they still own or the bank does, but clean up crew came this week and started to remove everything.
Speaking of removal, our garage is down to just a slab. We still need to haul off shingles, but hope to flag where new utility lines and outer walls are to go this weekend, if it will ever stop raining.
Have had to put painting off until spring, as weather has been either constant rain or freezing cold since November. Thankfully not both at the same time, although we are getting to that particular season.
Not much else is going on, just needed to vent a bit as I try to finish out my Friday afternoon. May come back and elaborate on some of these if I get a chance. If not, it's not like anyone will notice anyway.
1. B - Where to start? He is 15, he has a girlfriend, he took the truck without permission and blew the transmission, his friends are all idiots and I don't think he has smoked pot again since he got caught. He is home from school today with a sprained ankle.
2. The twins - both mostly amazing, occasionally challenging.
3. L - still driving a truck. Life without him home is different than with. Not sure which I handle better. On a positive note, we are going to Nashville for the weekend in a couple of weeks. Hopefully good weather and a good time.
4. Work - I pretty much don't speak to M. After more than a year, I can't decide if D is brilliant or completely ignorant.
5. Football - the Broncos are in the playoffs, baby!!! Already arranging my weekend so that I can watch them play Pittsburgh on Sunday. Hoping for the best but will not be surprised if they blow it.
6. Family - K suddenly married to some random guy. T expected to be released next month. My brother engaged, no date set that I know of.
7. The 'hood - the house next door burned down right after Thanksgiving. No one was living there, and some question about whether they still own or the bank does, but clean up crew came this week and started to remove everything.
Speaking of removal, our garage is down to just a slab. We still need to haul off shingles, but hope to flag where new utility lines and outer walls are to go this weekend, if it will ever stop raining.
Have had to put painting off until spring, as weather has been either constant rain or freezing cold since November. Thankfully not both at the same time, although we are getting to that particular season.
Not much else is going on, just needed to vent a bit as I try to finish out my Friday afternoon. May come back and elaborate on some of these if I get a chance. If not, it's not like anyone will notice anyway.
August 29, 2014
August was the Month
August was the month that I went from really liking what I do to just having a job. The job itself didn't change, but the office dynamic did.
Our office is located in an apartment building. We have a one-bedroom apartment that has been made into two offices for three people. The director had the private office (bedroom) and M and I shared the outer office (living/dining area). Most of the time this worked because all three of us are part-time employees. Sometimes on Wed and Thurs, when M and I overlapped, it was a little loud and crowded, but it didn't keep me from being able to work. Apparently it bothered M, who complained about it to J, the building manager and "wondered" if our storage space down the hall could be turned into a third office. J sent a blanket email stating that the cost to make the space functional was prohibitive, especially since we do not pay rent. (yes, you read that part right). She suggested an alternate configuration, which made sense, but the whole thing was overstepping her bounds as far as our office management goes. D, the director, made a passing comment on this fact, but obviously took it under consideration. It was decided that D would take my desk, since she is in and out of the office the most, M would keep hers, since she is the office manager, and I would move into D's office so I could have space to spread out my projects. It feels a little weird to be the low man on the totem pole and still get a private office, but it really does make sense.
Prior to this, I had made arrangements to be out of the office for a few days. This also apparently bothered M when one day at lunch I referred to my upcoming vacation. She bristled, and said we don't get vacation. You could tell she was annoyed from then on. When J asked me about it the next day, I stopped her and said "There has been some clarification. I am taking THREE DAYS OFF and my kids can call it whatever the F*** they want." No one really discussed it after that.
Knowing that I was about to be out of the office, I worked hard to get everything done that I needed to do before I went. Then I came in on Wednesday to find that M had spent Mon and Tue rearranging the office. Her space was nice and organized, D's space was ready to go, and my office was full of boxes and equipment! In spite of wearing a skirt and heels, I spent the day rearranging furniture, locating the most important files and items, and crawling around hooking up computers. M made a few comments throughout the day that seemed a little passive-aggressive, but I smiled and worked through it. By the end of the day Fri my office looked a whole better and I felt like my absence was going to be okay.
Fast forward to yesterday, when my pay check was "adjusted" for my absence. While no one said it in so many words, I probably shouldn't have been surprised. Really surprised wasn't the word for it as much as aggravated. I knew that those days would need to be made up. I also thought that D and I had agreed they would be made up in the next month as we prepare for the convention. What frustrates me is the less than transparent way it has been handled, leaving me feeling a little blindsided.
So now I feel the need to document everything, which I didn't before. If the new policy is going to be getting paid strictly on time in the office, then that is how I will proceed. But my pissiness about documenting my time isn't really about recovering the lost wages. It's that now I no longer feel compelled to check my work email from home on days I don't go to the office. Now if I bring work home I will feel like I am being taken advantage of, rather than doing a little extra now to make work go more smoothly later. Now it's just a job.
But if there is some latent passive-aggressiveness in me, it will surely take pleasure in the fact that I can show up at the office on a day M isn't expecting me. My very presence will undoubtedly irritate her, but what can I say? I believe it's called a benefit :)
Our office is located in an apartment building. We have a one-bedroom apartment that has been made into two offices for three people. The director had the private office (bedroom) and M and I shared the outer office (living/dining area). Most of the time this worked because all three of us are part-time employees. Sometimes on Wed and Thurs, when M and I overlapped, it was a little loud and crowded, but it didn't keep me from being able to work. Apparently it bothered M, who complained about it to J, the building manager and "wondered" if our storage space down the hall could be turned into a third office. J sent a blanket email stating that the cost to make the space functional was prohibitive, especially since we do not pay rent. (yes, you read that part right). She suggested an alternate configuration, which made sense, but the whole thing was overstepping her bounds as far as our office management goes. D, the director, made a passing comment on this fact, but obviously took it under consideration. It was decided that D would take my desk, since she is in and out of the office the most, M would keep hers, since she is the office manager, and I would move into D's office so I could have space to spread out my projects. It feels a little weird to be the low man on the totem pole and still get a private office, but it really does make sense.
Prior to this, I had made arrangements to be out of the office for a few days. This also apparently bothered M when one day at lunch I referred to my upcoming vacation. She bristled, and said we don't get vacation. You could tell she was annoyed from then on. When J asked me about it the next day, I stopped her and said "There has been some clarification. I am taking THREE DAYS OFF and my kids can call it whatever the F*** they want." No one really discussed it after that.
Knowing that I was about to be out of the office, I worked hard to get everything done that I needed to do before I went. Then I came in on Wednesday to find that M had spent Mon and Tue rearranging the office. Her space was nice and organized, D's space was ready to go, and my office was full of boxes and equipment! In spite of wearing a skirt and heels, I spent the day rearranging furniture, locating the most important files and items, and crawling around hooking up computers. M made a few comments throughout the day that seemed a little passive-aggressive, but I smiled and worked through it. By the end of the day Fri my office looked a whole better and I felt like my absence was going to be okay.
Fast forward to yesterday, when my pay check was "adjusted" for my absence. While no one said it in so many words, I probably shouldn't have been surprised. Really surprised wasn't the word for it as much as aggravated. I knew that those days would need to be made up. I also thought that D and I had agreed they would be made up in the next month as we prepare for the convention. What frustrates me is the less than transparent way it has been handled, leaving me feeling a little blindsided.
So now I feel the need to document everything, which I didn't before. If the new policy is going to be getting paid strictly on time in the office, then that is how I will proceed. But my pissiness about documenting my time isn't really about recovering the lost wages. It's that now I no longer feel compelled to check my work email from home on days I don't go to the office. Now if I bring work home I will feel like I am being taken advantage of, rather than doing a little extra now to make work go more smoothly later. Now it's just a job.
But if there is some latent passive-aggressiveness in me, it will surely take pleasure in the fact that I can show up at the office on a day M isn't expecting me. My very presence will undoubtedly irritate her, but what can I say? I believe it's called a benefit :)
March 19, 2014
Like a Boss
Right off the bat, let me mention that I found B's stash of porn DVDs. Not what I expected to find, and really not sure yet how to proceed. For now, waiting to see how he reacts when he notices they are missing.
Second, I (re)discovered that minimum wage customer service employees do not usually get their jobs because of their customer service skills, but because of their minimum wage abilities. Long story short, the roof guy had left some sample boards at his MIL's place of work because it was a convenient place for both of us. When I asked about them, it took several tries between two employees and myself to sort out that I did not expect them to unlock the pharmacy and give me drug samples for shingles, but that I was there to pick up some samples of shingles I was considering for my roof. Why they were locked in the pharmacy is mystery number one. Why employee number one thought employee number two was any smarter is mystery number two. Why they put a guy who keeps repeating that he suffers from short term memory loss on the cash register is mystery number three. If I will EVER get the roof redone is mystery number four, but that is a separate issue.
Third, trying to figure out why now, after a very long time, I cannot get someone off my mind. I didn't dream about him, but I did have a series of crazy dreams that kept waking me up, and when I did wake up to stay, there he was again. It's not a bad thing, thinking about him, just trying to sort out why now. I did a mental check of "triggers", but I could not care less about March Madness, I can't remember the last time I had a drink, and I am not feeling particularly vulnerable or melancholy.
In fact, while I am not exactly iron-clad, I am kind of rockin' it. I am getting more done around the house since I got put in charge. My new job is turning out to be pretty great. I also have two contracts now for freelance work. It looks like spring might be on its way to stay. Other than the young son with the beginnings of an adult-sized porn collection, I am doing ok as a de facto single parent.
On a sad note, L seems to think the DVDs might have been John's. Can't return them to a person who no longer exists. Likewise with Jodie. What a strange winter, to have two peers almost my exact age pass away. We'll save the list of things that really suck for another day.
#selectivecaring #likeaboss @pollyanna
Second, I (re)discovered that minimum wage customer service employees do not usually get their jobs because of their customer service skills, but because of their minimum wage abilities. Long story short, the roof guy had left some sample boards at his MIL's place of work because it was a convenient place for both of us. When I asked about them, it took several tries between two employees and myself to sort out that I did not expect them to unlock the pharmacy and give me drug samples for shingles, but that I was there to pick up some samples of shingles I was considering for my roof. Why they were locked in the pharmacy is mystery number one. Why employee number one thought employee number two was any smarter is mystery number two. Why they put a guy who keeps repeating that he suffers from short term memory loss on the cash register is mystery number three. If I will EVER get the roof redone is mystery number four, but that is a separate issue.
Third, trying to figure out why now, after a very long time, I cannot get someone off my mind. I didn't dream about him, but I did have a series of crazy dreams that kept waking me up, and when I did wake up to stay, there he was again. It's not a bad thing, thinking about him, just trying to sort out why now. I did a mental check of "triggers", but I could not care less about March Madness, I can't remember the last time I had a drink, and I am not feeling particularly vulnerable or melancholy.
In fact, while I am not exactly iron-clad, I am kind of rockin' it. I am getting more done around the house since I got put in charge. My new job is turning out to be pretty great. I also have two contracts now for freelance work. It looks like spring might be on its way to stay. Other than the young son with the beginnings of an adult-sized porn collection, I am doing ok as a de facto single parent.
On a sad note, L seems to think the DVDs might have been John's. Can't return them to a person who no longer exists. Likewise with Jodie. What a strange winter, to have two peers almost my exact age pass away. We'll save the list of things that really suck for another day.
#selectivecaring #likeaboss @pollyanna
February 18, 2014
Holiday Letter, a little bit late
Just realized how long it has been since I posted anything. I think I didn't think anything worth writing about was happening, but looking back all sorts of stuff has happened since I last wrote. Therefore, in Christmas card, form letter fashion, here is the run down:
Family - B had a really awful 1st semester. Second semester is off to a better start, although he has quit playing the saxophone, messed up his chances for off-season football, and could definitely have better grades. On the plus side, he is actually going to school instead of cutting, his attitude is much improved, and he seems excited about all of the getting ready for high school business. He is taking his course selection very seriously and is looking forward to some more challenging electives. We are still tracking him via his phone, which is sad and funny and unfortunately necessary.
The twins are the same as ever - hilarious and smart and adorable. D is signed up for baseball and can't wait to be old enough to play something besides t-ball. L has settled for soccer again because the dance class she took before is no longer available. Their grades are awesome and they growing too fast.
L is still driving a truck. I could write a whole post on how I feel about him only being here some of the time, and then not always fully present, but I will save it for later.
My parents came in October. We did Christmas Day here because it has been awhile since we did that. Then we went to OK for a couple of days and came back to K's house for an immediate family thing.
Her kids are both walking disasters. My nephew is in and out of jail and quite possibly has an HIV-related illness. My niece is on the upswing right now, which probably means her next fall will be any day now. They are both past anything we can offer them in the way of help. I pray a lot that my kids never become addicts.
Work - the new job is different, to say the least. One of my coworkers is resistant to any change, which means my assignment to come in and do just that is going very slowly. The other one just started and I don't really know her. But I am only there part time, the pay is decent, and I get to do whatever I want, so OK that my only complaint is that I can't always do it right this minute.
I also have one contract with ACH to plan an event for them, and a proposal pending to do another with a related group. I am excited about these not because the are very lucrative, but because they keep me in touch with many people I used to work with, and help me add to my resume for freelance work.
House - we are waiting for a bid on the relocating the furnace, and then we are ready to get a new roof put on the house. This is long, long overdue. If we don't blow our whole savings on these two projects, I have one other biggie, and then it will be warm weather and time to get serious about a lot of the things I can do by myself. Very excited, but trying to stay real, because my experience has been that every time things get going too well, we are promptly brought back to reality in a big way.
All that to say that while things are going really well in general, I am cynical enough to be looking around the corner for the next bit o' pain or drama. Really can't complain though.
Speaking of woe, I saw this quote the other day. I laughed, but immediately quit, because while funny, it was also sad and completely unnecessary.
"My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari."
Yeah, I didn't get one of those for Christmas either. But really, I'm not complaining. At least I didn't blow the Super Bowl.
Family - B had a really awful 1st semester. Second semester is off to a better start, although he has quit playing the saxophone, messed up his chances for off-season football, and could definitely have better grades. On the plus side, he is actually going to school instead of cutting, his attitude is much improved, and he seems excited about all of the getting ready for high school business. He is taking his course selection very seriously and is looking forward to some more challenging electives. We are still tracking him via his phone, which is sad and funny and unfortunately necessary.
The twins are the same as ever - hilarious and smart and adorable. D is signed up for baseball and can't wait to be old enough to play something besides t-ball. L has settled for soccer again because the dance class she took before is no longer available. Their grades are awesome and they growing too fast.
L is still driving a truck. I could write a whole post on how I feel about him only being here some of the time, and then not always fully present, but I will save it for later.
My parents came in October. We did Christmas Day here because it has been awhile since we did that. Then we went to OK for a couple of days and came back to K's house for an immediate family thing.
Her kids are both walking disasters. My nephew is in and out of jail and quite possibly has an HIV-related illness. My niece is on the upswing right now, which probably means her next fall will be any day now. They are both past anything we can offer them in the way of help. I pray a lot that my kids never become addicts.
Work - the new job is different, to say the least. One of my coworkers is resistant to any change, which means my assignment to come in and do just that is going very slowly. The other one just started and I don't really know her. But I am only there part time, the pay is decent, and I get to do whatever I want, so OK that my only complaint is that I can't always do it right this minute.
I also have one contract with ACH to plan an event for them, and a proposal pending to do another with a related group. I am excited about these not because the are very lucrative, but because they keep me in touch with many people I used to work with, and help me add to my resume for freelance work.
House - we are waiting for a bid on the relocating the furnace, and then we are ready to get a new roof put on the house. This is long, long overdue. If we don't blow our whole savings on these two projects, I have one other biggie, and then it will be warm weather and time to get serious about a lot of the things I can do by myself. Very excited, but trying to stay real, because my experience has been that every time things get going too well, we are promptly brought back to reality in a big way.
All that to say that while things are going really well in general, I am cynical enough to be looking around the corner for the next bit o' pain or drama. Really can't complain though.
Speaking of woe, I saw this quote the other day. I laughed, but immediately quit, because while funny, it was also sad and completely unnecessary.
"My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari."
Yeah, I didn't get one of those for Christmas either. But really, I'm not complaining. At least I didn't blow the Super Bowl.
September 18, 2013
All in a Day's Work
I am ready for this week to be over, and it's only (barely) Wednesday. The big conference I do each year for my job is next week. That makes this week one of the most busy and usually most stressful . Some of the headaches are to be anticipated, and while I gripe about them, they can be taken in stride- last minute requests, last minute changes, etc. Some can be expected, but I don't have to like them, like hold ups waiting on other people to get their stuff together. This year, I am more than a little annoyed with my co-coordinator, who has left some pretty big things to the last minute, meaning that where we should be confirming details with the facility, the caterer and the trade show vendor, we are still trying to iron out a work plan. I am not happy about this, and the fact that I know it needs resolved, and there is nothing we can do until later today, when I was already going to be crazy busy, is keeping me awake. The other headache is caused by one of our out of town speakers, whose travel schedule is weird, to say the least. To make it more complicated, we contracted her through a speakers bureau. What this means is that rather than just being able to call her and work out details, I have to work through a representative. This means everything takes three times longer to resolve. For example, we got an official response to a question yesterday that we had already dismissed and moved on from due to lack of reply. Fortunately, the reply confirmed what we had already decided to do, or I might be lying awake wondering how to fix that too. Today is our work day, where we prep the packets and organize delivery of materials. That itself is not stressful, provided the printer has done everything correctly. It's just that I had set aside this morning to get ready for that, and now it looks like I will be spending my morning troubleshooting 99 other things instead.
And, because the rest of my life does not stop just because work is busy, I still have to get through this week on the home front. It's not any busier than most weeks, but trying to fit it all in while also getting ready to be out of town for three days is not simple. Monday we went to visit my father in law, who had to stay overnight in the hospital after a surgical procedure. Last night and tomorrow night we have soccer practice. Tonight we are going to a church activity and to see my in-laws again. Saturday, we have early soccer and will take the kids to stay at grandparents' house while I am gone. Sometime in between all that I need to pick up snacks for soccer, do laundry and pack suitcases, and oh yeah, prepare a lesson for Sunday. All while trying to keep work at work, be the best mom I can be for kids with homework, meals, time and attention, etc., and trying to maintain my sanity around B.
Remember him? He's 13 and driving me absolutely nuts. I know that what he most needs right now is consistency and patience and time and positive attention and all that parenting mumbo jumbo, but he makes it so difficult to even want to be around him that I know I am being a terrible parent right now. Of course I love him, but sometimes I have to try very hard to make it sound more sincere than sarcastic when I say it. Right now I am just hoping that he will behave himself while I am gone, because his grandparents are doing me a huge favor by watching them while I am gone, and they do not need his attitude to deal with right now.
On a side note, I have received several compliments about my lessons on Sunday. This is nice to hear, partly because it's nice to hear :) and partly because I was worried that I would not be a good teacher of adults, not having done that in awhile. I won't go so far as to say that I am having fun yet, but it's nice to know that others are getting something from it. I think I will too, in time.
And in the background of all this, I am still planning to leave my job for another opportunity. My official end date is the 27th, but I will come back a few times to wrap up the conference as necessary. I am very much looking forward to the new job, but still trying to do right by my current one. Truthfully, my boss is just grateful that I agreed to stick around until after the event, but I am not content to just get through it. It has been my baby for so long, and something I am known for and proud of. I don't have to go out with a bang, but it will bother me if I don't execute the best event possible.
So I will wear myself out this week, just to make those three days look like a perfect piece of cake.
And, because the rest of my life does not stop just because work is busy, I still have to get through this week on the home front. It's not any busier than most weeks, but trying to fit it all in while also getting ready to be out of town for three days is not simple. Monday we went to visit my father in law, who had to stay overnight in the hospital after a surgical procedure. Last night and tomorrow night we have soccer practice. Tonight we are going to a church activity and to see my in-laws again. Saturday, we have early soccer and will take the kids to stay at grandparents' house while I am gone. Sometime in between all that I need to pick up snacks for soccer, do laundry and pack suitcases, and oh yeah, prepare a lesson for Sunday. All while trying to keep work at work, be the best mom I can be for kids with homework, meals, time and attention, etc., and trying to maintain my sanity around B.
Remember him? He's 13 and driving me absolutely nuts. I know that what he most needs right now is consistency and patience and time and positive attention and all that parenting mumbo jumbo, but he makes it so difficult to even want to be around him that I know I am being a terrible parent right now. Of course I love him, but sometimes I have to try very hard to make it sound more sincere than sarcastic when I say it. Right now I am just hoping that he will behave himself while I am gone, because his grandparents are doing me a huge favor by watching them while I am gone, and they do not need his attitude to deal with right now.
On a side note, I have received several compliments about my lessons on Sunday. This is nice to hear, partly because it's nice to hear :) and partly because I was worried that I would not be a good teacher of adults, not having done that in awhile. I won't go so far as to say that I am having fun yet, but it's nice to know that others are getting something from it. I think I will too, in time.
And in the background of all this, I am still planning to leave my job for another opportunity. My official end date is the 27th, but I will come back a few times to wrap up the conference as necessary. I am very much looking forward to the new job, but still trying to do right by my current one. Truthfully, my boss is just grateful that I agreed to stick around until after the event, but I am not content to just get through it. It has been my baby for so long, and something I am known for and proud of. I don't have to go out with a bang, but it will bother me if I don't execute the best event possible.
So I will wear myself out this week, just to make those three days look like a perfect piece of cake.
August 29, 2013
A Little Awkward
So I have officially been offered, and accepted, a new job. I will begin around the first of October, per an arrangement between my current and new employers. While my old boss is pretty cool about me leaving, especially since I am willing and able to stay until after the conference, and my new boss is flexible about me easing into things, it still feels a little weird. I am somewhat busy with the conference, and am working on wrapping up/handing off tasks, but the truth is I am really only staying because no one else could have done the conference on short notice. So while the same old drama and gossip goes on around me, now it doesn't even affect me indirectly, except for having to listen to it. It's a rather strange dynamic indeed.
I spent yesterday afternoon at the new place, which was also a little strange. We mostly sat around visiting, asking and answering questions about the revisions to the job description, meeting people, getting a parking spot and keys, that sort of thing. My two colleagues are nice enough, although I am much younger than either of them, and have no idea how compatible we are in terms of personalities, work habits, etc.
There are two pretty cool things about the job though - first, I will be taking a modest pay cut, but only working 9-4, three days a week. That is the part that will be good for me and the kids, I think. Second, they actually rewrote the job description after my interview, to fit the skills I can bring to the position. They also, without me asking, upped the salary a bit because they thought it was appropriate, considering my skills. Several times, they have asked about my preferences or recommendations for software, vendors, etc. and said that whatever I think I need to do the job, they can get it for me.
That is certainly a big change from my current job, where I have been frustrated for a couple of years. I will admit that it feels pretty great to interview for a job, have the job description revised specifically for me, get a salary bump without no negotiation, be told that I can have the resources I need, and that they can be in place when I am ready to start, at a later date. I am sure that feeling of being valued is part of why I accepted the job, even with the pay cut. And I know that the honeymoon will end eventually, and I will be just another employee, griping about my boring job. For now, I am just keeping my head down, getting through the awkward phase, and waiting for the honeymoon to begin, for however long it lasts.
Speaking of awkward phases, please tell me that this is just a phase with B, and that he will someday grow up to be not a complete asshole.
I spent yesterday afternoon at the new place, which was also a little strange. We mostly sat around visiting, asking and answering questions about the revisions to the job description, meeting people, getting a parking spot and keys, that sort of thing. My two colleagues are nice enough, although I am much younger than either of them, and have no idea how compatible we are in terms of personalities, work habits, etc.
There are two pretty cool things about the job though - first, I will be taking a modest pay cut, but only working 9-4, three days a week. That is the part that will be good for me and the kids, I think. Second, they actually rewrote the job description after my interview, to fit the skills I can bring to the position. They also, without me asking, upped the salary a bit because they thought it was appropriate, considering my skills. Several times, they have asked about my preferences or recommendations for software, vendors, etc. and said that whatever I think I need to do the job, they can get it for me.
That is certainly a big change from my current job, where I have been frustrated for a couple of years. I will admit that it feels pretty great to interview for a job, have the job description revised specifically for me, get a salary bump without no negotiation, be told that I can have the resources I need, and that they can be in place when I am ready to start, at a later date. I am sure that feeling of being valued is part of why I accepted the job, even with the pay cut. And I know that the honeymoon will end eventually, and I will be just another employee, griping about my boring job. For now, I am just keeping my head down, getting through the awkward phase, and waiting for the honeymoon to begin, for however long it lasts.
Speaking of awkward phases, please tell me that this is just a phase with B, and that he will someday grow up to be not a complete asshole.
August 20, 2013
Seasonal News
Summer is officially over. Saturday was probably the last trip to the lake for this year, and yesterday was the first day of school. (It did not go well, BTW. We'll get in a routine eventually. I promise.)
Yesterday I also talked with SJ about my new job offer. She was very cool about it, which is a relief. Now to see if the new place is willing to delay my official start for a month until after the conference. I hope it works out, as the new gig will be good for our family, I think.
Weather is definitely fall weather. Would be nice to have a bit more time off while it lasts, as I am definitely on a home improvement roll! Got the possum belly cabinet stripped and refinished. Still need to reassemble it, but was waiting for the finish to cure. It looks great with the new top even if it is just sitting on there. Also got lots of pictures and décor hung up, light fixture (1 of 2, but still...) and ceiling fan installed (very cool) and stuff just generally arranged and organized. Still have several half-finished projects and the big cabinet to tackle, but I am finally making some noticeable progress.
In other random news, B got bands added to braces, is NOT playing football (lo-ong but familiar story) and I picked up my new glasses today. I may drive your grandma's Buick, but my eyewear is stylin'!
Yesterday I also talked with SJ about my new job offer. She was very cool about it, which is a relief. Now to see if the new place is willing to delay my official start for a month until after the conference. I hope it works out, as the new gig will be good for our family, I think.
Weather is definitely fall weather. Would be nice to have a bit more time off while it lasts, as I am definitely on a home improvement roll! Got the possum belly cabinet stripped and refinished. Still need to reassemble it, but was waiting for the finish to cure. It looks great with the new top even if it is just sitting on there. Also got lots of pictures and décor hung up, light fixture (1 of 2, but still...) and ceiling fan installed (very cool) and stuff just generally arranged and organized. Still have several half-finished projects and the big cabinet to tackle, but I am finally making some noticeable progress.
In other random news, B got bands added to braces, is NOT playing football (lo-ong but familiar story) and I picked up my new glasses today. I may drive your grandma's Buick, but my eyewear is stylin'!
August 5, 2013
Happy Birthday to Me, 2013
Actually, my birthday was not much to speak of, but that's OK. I am old enough now that birthdays are not the big deal they were when I was younger. Overall a good weekend though.
Friday night both boys were sleeping over at a friend's house, so L and I had "girls' night", which consisted of taking her to McDonald's and then the store to pick out a new outfit for school.
Saturday was drizzling rain all day, so mostly we stayed inside and didn't do much. I did get the last of the carpet pulled up, but it's still inside because I didn't want it to get water-logged before trash pick up. Also put away some of the stuff out of the boxes that were in the big cabinet and found homes for more junk. Next week I am taking some time off. While I probably won't be starting any new projects, I am hoping to wrap up a few before school starts the following week.
Yesterday we went to a pool party for the daughter of a friend. This makes two years in a row that I spent my birthday at her party :) But it was fun. The kids swam and played while the adults hung out and drank beer. We left about the time it started raining again, and everyone was tired, so the drive home seemed much longer than the drive there. Then we stopped to pick up pizza. We ended up getting it free because it took forever. Apparently one of the delivery drivers was robbed and the staff was behind, but instead of just telling us that, they tried to fit our order in between giving statements to the police. I don't think we live in the kind of place were the pizza guy gets robbed, so that IS a little weird.
Today is back to work. And I just got a call from the people interviewed with last week, so I need to quit with the self-indulgent blogging and send references :)
Friday night both boys were sleeping over at a friend's house, so L and I had "girls' night", which consisted of taking her to McDonald's and then the store to pick out a new outfit for school.
Saturday was drizzling rain all day, so mostly we stayed inside and didn't do much. I did get the last of the carpet pulled up, but it's still inside because I didn't want it to get water-logged before trash pick up. Also put away some of the stuff out of the boxes that were in the big cabinet and found homes for more junk. Next week I am taking some time off. While I probably won't be starting any new projects, I am hoping to wrap up a few before school starts the following week.
Yesterday we went to a pool party for the daughter of a friend. This makes two years in a row that I spent my birthday at her party :) But it was fun. The kids swam and played while the adults hung out and drank beer. We left about the time it started raining again, and everyone was tired, so the drive home seemed much longer than the drive there. Then we stopped to pick up pizza. We ended up getting it free because it took forever. Apparently one of the delivery drivers was robbed and the staff was behind, but instead of just telling us that, they tried to fit our order in between giving statements to the police. I don't think we live in the kind of place were the pizza guy gets robbed, so that IS a little weird.
Today is back to work. And I just got a call from the people interviewed with last week, so I need to quit with the self-indulgent blogging and send references :)
August 2, 2013
Week in Review
Monday -drama
Tuesday - drama
Wednesday - drama plus a sudden downpour resulting in downed trees and ruined shoes
Thursday - job interview, football parents' meeting
Friday - OMG, there's no drama!! where the hell is all the drama? I want my draaa ma!!!
Saturday - no drama in the forecast, but you know how drama works, so...
Sunday - birthday party
In between the whining, weather and craziness, I did manage to get conference brochures mailed, prep my stuff and drop it off for the consignment sale, go grocery shopping, have several good conversations with B and finally put away laundry.
Also managed to avoid the grand opening of our new (first) Wal-Mart, which is considered the most exciting thing to happen in our town since the last tornado. At some point this weekend, I will probably end up there to do some sales tax-free school shopping, but I will not be nearly as excited as the multitudes there this morning and subsequently posting on FB about it.
Also need to get the twins signed up for soccer, but that should be easy enough. The party on Sunday will be very laid back, so maybe I can have a relaxing weekend. Then Monday will be the first day of 6:30 a.m. football practice. They can't do two-a-days, so they will be practicing for 4 hours. Fun!
And a final note of drama - according to my oldest son (who nev-ver engages in drama, oh no), our neighbors are "preppers", who have made it possible to flip their concrete slab driveway up onto their (POS) car port (without crushing it or the "only" four people it takes to pull this feat off), and latch it (using magic latches that attach to concrete) in case of, "you know, a zombie apocalypse or something". Tell me that kid is not smoking something!
OK, back to work. Gotta finish up so I can leave early to get a new driver's license. Crossing my fingers this one doesn't look like a mug shot.
Tuesday - drama
Wednesday - drama plus a sudden downpour resulting in downed trees and ruined shoes
Thursday - job interview, football parents' meeting
Friday - OMG, there's no drama!! where the hell is all the drama? I want my draaa ma!!!
Saturday - no drama in the forecast, but you know how drama works, so...
Sunday - birthday party
In between the whining, weather and craziness, I did manage to get conference brochures mailed, prep my stuff and drop it off for the consignment sale, go grocery shopping, have several good conversations with B and finally put away laundry.
Also managed to avoid the grand opening of our new (first) Wal-Mart, which is considered the most exciting thing to happen in our town since the last tornado. At some point this weekend, I will probably end up there to do some sales tax-free school shopping, but I will not be nearly as excited as the multitudes there this morning and subsequently posting on FB about it.
Also need to get the twins signed up for soccer, but that should be easy enough. The party on Sunday will be very laid back, so maybe I can have a relaxing weekend. Then Monday will be the first day of 6:30 a.m. football practice. They can't do two-a-days, so they will be practicing for 4 hours. Fun!
And a final note of drama - according to my oldest son (who nev-ver engages in drama, oh no), our neighbors are "preppers", who have made it possible to flip their concrete slab driveway up onto their (POS) car port (without crushing it or the "only" four people it takes to pull this feat off), and latch it (using magic latches that attach to concrete) in case of, "you know, a zombie apocalypse or something". Tell me that kid is not smoking something!
OK, back to work. Gotta finish up so I can leave early to get a new driver's license. Crossing my fingers this one doesn't look like a mug shot.
July 30, 2013
Full speed ahead...
...with no particular plan
I heard this on the radio and it stuck with me because it perfectly describes everything right now. I keep plowing ahead, learning to manage more of life on my own without waiting for help or validation from others, responding to stupid questions and crises of the day, giving little thought to anything beyond getting through today, because to stop and think just makes me want to withdraw and feel pitiful. I keep thinking that if I can keep moving forward, I will eventually get somewhere better.
At least I sincerely hope this is the case, because otherwise I have wasted a lot of time on the wrong ideas, people and things.
I heard this on the radio and it stuck with me because it perfectly describes everything right now. I keep plowing ahead, learning to manage more of life on my own without waiting for help or validation from others, responding to stupid questions and crises of the day, giving little thought to anything beyond getting through today, because to stop and think just makes me want to withdraw and feel pitiful. I keep thinking that if I can keep moving forward, I will eventually get somewhere better.
At least I sincerely hope this is the case, because otherwise I have wasted a lot of time on the wrong ideas, people and things.
July 29, 2013
Undecided
Untitled. Undecided. Un-whatever - this has been a really very crappy couple of days.
The trip to Branson was actually OK. The weather was fantastic, the resort was nice, the kids had a great time. I could have stood to stay another day, maybe.
But, I got some disturbing news, and I am not sure yet what to do with/about it. I can see even as I write that I am going to need to think a little more about it before I do anything.
Then I got to work today to find the chaos has accelerated into like super chaos or something. Not sure about this either, but the difference is that I have limited control over how this turns out. Suffice it to say that I am longer waiting until after the conference to step up the job search.
I am headed to home to face a tedious task I can no longer avoid, so even home won't be that relaxing tonight.
And to think that I was just hoping to get around to posting about the dream I had of living in a hotel with a lobby big enough for the kids to ride their bikes and a lesbian roommate who specialized in stir fry.
Hmmpphh - Happy freaking Monday.
The trip to Branson was actually OK. The weather was fantastic, the resort was nice, the kids had a great time. I could have stood to stay another day, maybe.
But, I got some disturbing news, and I am not sure yet what to do with/about it. I can see even as I write that I am going to need to think a little more about it before I do anything.
Then I got to work today to find the chaos has accelerated into like super chaos or something. Not sure about this either, but the difference is that I have limited control over how this turns out. Suffice it to say that I am longer waiting until after the conference to step up the job search.
I am headed to home to face a tedious task I can no longer avoid, so even home won't be that relaxing tonight.
And to think that I was just hoping to get around to posting about the dream I had of living in a hotel with a lobby big enough for the kids to ride their bikes and a lesbian roommate who specialized in stir fry.
Hmmpphh - Happy freaking Monday.
July 26, 2013
Contents of a 13 year-old boy's backpack...
So I mentioned some concern about B possibly smoking. Last night I had the opportunity to take a peek in the sport pack he carries everywhere. Right off the bat I noticed a lighter, so I proceeded to look for cigarettes, or signs of cigarettes. I found an iPhone speaker, headphones, 2 packs of gum, his wrist wallet with his house key and a dollar, some Axe, but no smokes. I did find a crumpled paper sack, which I suspected might be fireworks, and then another paper sack folded up small and taped shut. Oh, hell no. Not being able to smell, I gently opened it, expecting the worst.
My excitement about NOT FINDING POT turned to dismay as I recognized the contents - condoms. I glanced in the other bag, which also contained condoms. What I had here was standard-issue health department condoms, complete with the mini-booklet entitled "How to use condoms". Well then.
I was so relieved that it wasn't something worse, that I just stuck everything back the best I could and returned the sack, including the lighter.
After much thought, I am wondering why he is carrying a lighter around, still on the alert for signs of smoking, but definitely glad that if I had to find a conversation starter it was condoms and not drugs.
It will just be the two of us on the drive up to Branson, so we'll see what comes of that.
My excitement about NOT FINDING POT turned to dismay as I recognized the contents - condoms. I glanced in the other bag, which also contained condoms. What I had here was standard-issue health department condoms, complete with the mini-booklet entitled "How to use condoms". Well then.
I was so relieved that it wasn't something worse, that I just stuck everything back the best I could and returned the sack, including the lighter.
After much thought, I am wondering why he is carrying a lighter around, still on the alert for signs of smoking, but definitely glad that if I had to find a conversation starter it was condoms and not drugs.
It will just be the two of us on the drive up to Branson, so we'll see what comes of that.
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