Skin Quotient

I once read an article once about something called a skin quotient. The term was used to explain an individual's need for skin-to-skin contact with another person. The article explained why some people seem more touchy-feely, and what one might do if he or she was dealing with someone who had a vastly different skin quotient.

This article has stuck with me for a long time. I even tried to explain it to my husband. Sometimes at the end of the day, I would say that I had not gotten my skin quotient. He would patiently permit me to curl up against him for awhile, maybe 10 minutes max, before saying only half jokingly "Have you gotten your skin quotient yet?", which was his subtle way of saying he was ready for me to move to my own side of the bed.

Now he spends most nights in a chair, and any contact from him is pretty much incidental. At the opposite end of the spectrum, I had a boyfriend once who liked to wrap his arms around me and hold me all night. I am certainly not complaining about it, I just didn't "need" that much touch to be content. Ideally, somewhere in between is fine.

These days, most of my skin quotient is filled by my kids. B has not quite reached the age where it is uncool to show affection for a parent, although I worry that day is coming soon. The twins are still at an age where they are very generous with hugs and like to cuddle. I try to let this be enough, although sometimes I freak them out by holding on a little too tight or a little too long. I don't try to explain to them why, I just tell them that's what moms do.

Then I make a silent wish that they don't grow up and away too soon.