To the Big Guy on the Little Bike

To the Big Guy on the Little Bike:

OK, true, I could stop right there and it would be funny enough, but the truth is you were not being funny at all.

First, you were driving way too fast, which is your own business. You were driving recklessly, which makes it mine. Bright blue shirt notwithstanding, bikers are harder to see in traffic, even when drivers are watching for you. But when you come flying around people, cutting in and out of traffic, you are a danger to yourself and to others. You give responsible bikers a bad rep, and make drivers less willing to share the road you.

Second, you need to learn to ride before you get out on the road. (You may have been in front of me, but I still saw you choke it in the intersection.) Then, when you learn to drive that little bitty bike, you can get a bigger bike that will actually carry your fat ass and do 90 without whining.

Your Skinnier, Bike-riding Friend