Hand-holding Energy Zappers

I had a friend who had a theory about the transfer of energy between people. She believed that people are either energy givers or energy takers. Following an interaction with another person, each of you either feels energized or drained of energy.  You can both feel the same way, but one person rarely feels both ways at the same time. In an interaction with another person, the results might be different (one person gives you energy, another person takes it). Further, in subsequent interactions with people, you may feel completely differently, depending on the nature of the interaction, individual mood, involvement of other people, etc.

I always think it is an interesting theory, when I have cause to think about it at all. Selfishly, I am not usually thinking about my effect on other people, but I do tend to notice when I feel particularly energized or drained after an interaction with another person. For example, this week I have spent more time than I should have holding the hands of people who should be old enough and mature enough to not need it. While the hand-holding was figurative, not literal, the feeling is real. I have felt physically, emotionally and psychologically drained all week.

The antidote to energy takers is obviously to avoid them in favor of energy givers. Unfortunately, I have not only been unable to get away from the energy takers before now, I have been able to find only a few energy givers. Amanda has been something of an energy giver, although from a distance. Pam was not the energy giver she usually is, but she was at least not a taker. Surprisingly enough, my best source of energy this week has been my kids. In B's case, I am not sure he has been a giver as much as he has not been a taker, especially after last week. But the twins have been my lifesavers this week. Whether this is just because they are getting more mature, or they are having a good week, or they could somehow sense that I was not up to anything else, I don't know. I just know that they have both been so sweet, and so funny, and so loving (without being clingy!) that I don't know what I would have done without them.

The good news is that the week is almost over. A holiday weekend is coming up and I am already feeling more positive energy than I have felt all week. I have decided to quit hand-holding in favor of hugging my kids and crossing my fingers that the feeling lasts.